How to handle people’s prying questions about your twins.

 

It’s a fact that most mothers of twins are subjected to random strangers getting involved in her personal business. It’s as if people see a double stroller as a sign to freely ask the most personal of questions, and expect the most intimate of details.

Strangers seem infinitely curious about twin moms’ fertility issues; their weight gain; and other details of their life, that they may not feel so comfortable sharing, if the tables were turned.

“Having twins is so fascinating to people that they’ll forget to censor themselves and ask all kinds of personal questions, that they’d never ask any other time. So after a while, I kind of looked at it like a sociology experiment to see how “pregnant” and “twins” in the same sentence, could screw up a stranger’s filter.” writes Kristi Metzger, mom to six-year-old, Miles and Lucy.

The most often asked question to moms of twins is on the topic of IVF. “Mine were conceived through IVF and I’m fortunate because, this question does not bother me – I use it as a moment to try and educate people. All pregnancies are natural, mine was not spontaneous. I always looked them right in the eye and said, they were conceived via IVF. Regularly, there was an indication that this was somehow disappointing, or not as good as a spontaneous twin pregnancy – I just chalked that up to ignorance.” says Jane Grimes, mom to four-year-old, Charlotte and Henry.

Using these experiences for good instead of evil, (educating the masses instead of getting irritated by them), is your best line of defense. Heidi Green says, “When people would stop me on the street and ask me about, (now two-year-old), Harry and Rose; they would usually ask, “Are they identical?” because as infants, they looked so much alike. I would tell them they are a boy and a girl; and they would look at me puzzled and ask again, “Yes, I got that, but are they identical?” It was at that point, that I realized it was up to me to break it to them, that boy/girl twins can NEVER be identical.”

Any mother can take these experiences of dealing with strangers, as another part of the insanity of raising twins or triplets, here in New York City; or in any other part of the U.S. for that matter. Tara Telford of California writes, “To be honest, when you have twins, this kind of thing happens a lot, just usually at the mall or restaurant. You get to find out that everyone has a twin, is a twin or knows a twin.” Tara is a mommy blogger, and mom to Tom and Abby, six-years-old.

Sometimes our double strollers are irresistible. The four little feet sticking out; the cute little blankets; what an adorable sight it is. And if you think about it, our strollers can become a magnet, for a stray maternal instinct. So mamas, it’s up to you! Do you want to come up with a few sassy comebacks for the next time someone asks if your twins were conceived through IVF; (my personal favorite was “Why are you having trouble conceiving?”); or do you want to enlighten them with the facts of the situation? Regardless of what you do, you can expect that these questions are going to keep coming.

Heidi Elliott, mom to five-year-old, Reed and Larkin wrote, “The question I always get is “Do twins run in your family?” and a good friend always responded: “No, but they run in my doctor’s office!”

What were some of the wacky questions you got when your twins were first born, or when you were pregnant? We welcome your comments below.

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