Since the birth of my twins, I have talked to more people, made more new friends, and generally experienced a more extroverted lifestyle than ever before. Never before babies would I have talked to strangers, initiated conversations with those I don’t know, commiserated with literally anyone who would listen, or suggested that we get together simply because we have one thing in common: parenthood. There’s something about parenthood that tethers us all together – an unspoken common denominator, a sense of knowing. Now, just seeing someone out in public with a baby – or young kids – I think, I know. We are the same.
This likeness that we have, this collective understanding, suddenly draws us together in an understanding of the long (yet rapid) passing of days, the countless sleepless nights, the refined juggling and multitasking skills, the pride and exhilaration of watching milestones be met and little human beings grow, the thankless days, the all-consuming love. We suddenly have this one huge thing in common. We know.
I must admit, part of the reason I am especially social these days is because I have not one, but two babies. Simply having twins puts you in the spotlight. This twin power is alluring, fascinating, and mysterious, pulling in even more opportunities for conversation. Unwanted conversation? Maybe. Strange and intrusive questions? Yes. Repetitive and monotonous question answering? Absolutely. But the point is, there are so many more opportunities for interaction and connection with others – and even more so when you meet another twin mom.
Before I had babies, I never would have spotted another girl at the park and thought, we both have the same purse – we should be friends! Now it’s as simple as, we both have the same stroller/same diaper bag/similar aged babies – we should be friends! And then, just like that, we have a million things to talk about. And maybe we exchange numbers and hang out again.
On top of the obvious connection of parenthood, I am often looking for a way to keep that lonely and isolated feeling away that can tag along with parenting. Some days, I feel like a slave to nap schedules, meals and snacks, little ones demanding to be held, household chores and dragging babies around to do errands. There isn’t always time to meet up with other people. Being a parent is never boring, but can at times feel a little lonely. Sometimes running errands with a friend (and her kiddos) is all that I need to feel connected to others. Sometimes it’s a commiserating text. Sometimes it’s meeting up at the park or going for a walk. It’s the moral support. Your day is hard, my day is hard. I know.
These twins of mine have given me a lot of special things, including my newfound-friend-making-
Because, they know.
Rachel Brehm, mother to fraternal twin girls, blogs regularly on eating disorder awareness and insurance denials for eating disorder treatment. Brehm writes for an Insurance Law Blog as well as an Eating Disorder Law Blog (rated as one of Top 25 Eating Disorder Blogs of 2012) focusing her writing on insurance advocacy, insurance coverage, body image, eating disorder recovery, and weight stigma. As a new contributor to Twiniversity.com, Brehm plans to shift her writing on body image issues in the insurance world to include body image issues in the mommy world. Brehm’s writing will address navigating pregnancy and postpartum with eating/body image issues as well as her experiences raising twin girls-and all the “twin moments” that go along with it. For more Twiniversity posts by Rachel, click here.
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Are you a new twin parent? Check out Natalie Diaz’s new book “What To Do When You’re Having Two: The Twin Survival Guide From Pregnancy Through the First Year”, available in stores now!
The rate of twin births has risen 79 percent over the last three decades, and continues to increase. A mom of fraternal twins and a national guru on having two, Natalie Diaz launched Twiniversity, a supportive website with advice from the twin-trenches.
What to Do When You’re Having Two is the definitive how-to guide to parenting twins, covering how to make a Birth Plan checklist, sticking to one sleep schedule, managing double-duty breastfeeding, stocking up on all the necessary gear, building one-on-one relationships with each child, and more.
Accessible and informative, What to Do When You’re Having Two is the must-have manual for all parents of twins.