A MoM-to-be recently asked:
I’m 33 weeks pregnant with boy/girl twins. Although I’d love to savor the time being pregnant and want to be optimistic, I am absolutely miserable and in a lot of physical pain. I know 5 weeks is such a short period, but I don’t know if/how I can keep going from this point. My mom keeps trying to remind me it’s easier to carry them in my belly than outside of the womb. I know it’ll be great once they’re here, but I also know that it’s also going to be more difficult. (I already have a 2 yr old). I want to get excited about their arrival, but I’m so exhausted and beat up that it’s hard to remember what a blessing this is. Did any of you experience this? How did you handle feeling emotionally and physically drained?
Here’s what our Twiniversity fans had to say:
– I felt exactly the same way and people would always say to me “wait until they get here you will wish they were back in you!” That statement could not be further from the truth for me. While C-Section recovery, sleep deprivation, and post-partum adjustment is very difficult NOTHING compares to how I felt when pregnant those last couple of months. All I can say is hang in there and you will get through it!
– I felt the same exact way! I was very miserable and swollen. One baby was pushing on my sciatic nerve and I had carpal tunnel. Everything hurt! I ended up delivering at 33 weeks exactly due to preeclampsia. Our babies were healthy, but spent 27 days in NICU for lung development and some breathing issues. So, as much as you hurt, try, try, try to keep them in as long as possible! It is ALL worth it in the end!
– I will have to disagree with your mother: I felt miserable throughout my pregnancy and found caring for my infant twins MUCH easier. I could deal with the sleep deprivation and even the C-section recovery. Once the physical pain, severe heartburn and nausea, and other “fun” pregnancy symptoms were gone things were much better. Having said that, I don’t think that there is much to do but rest when you can and just grin and bear it to the end. It is a weird dynamic to feel great emotionally and feel awful physically.
– I have a 2 year old and had boy/girl twins 9 weeks ago. I would set small goals toward the end, a couple days at a time just to reach that particular day or doctor appointment. Picture how healthy they will be the longer they “cook”. It’s not easy, but setting small goals seemed to help me! Knowing the end was in sight, the pain is only temporary.
– I can promise you that the recovery and exhaustion of having newborn twins pales in comparison to being pregnant with them which for me, was absolutely brutal. I felt so much better after having them I could have jumped up on the delivery table and sang and danced a whole Broadway show. I literally just did whatever I had to do just to get through being pregnant with them, even if that meant laying on the floor for hours watching videos with my son until my husband got home and could help me up.
– Try and hold out as long as possible. My twins were born at 36 weeks and were in the NICU for 2 weeks. It was the worst two weeks of my life. As hard as it feels and as painful, it will not compare to the guilt and heartache of them being in the NICU. You are doing great! Good luck and congrats!
– I just had my twins a week ago and I can’t even tell you how much better I feel even with the babies needing constant care. Twin pregnancy is HARD especially towards the end.
– As soon as the babies came out I felt wonderful again. I found the pregnancy harder and more miserable than caring for the babies once they were here. I had a 3 year old as well. It’s definitely not easy but you will get there, hang in there and know it gets better.
– Your mom (I’m assuming) didn’t carry twins. It is much harder physically to have them “in” then “out”. It’s tough on your body these last few weeks, no doubt. I wish I could reassure you, but the first 6 months or so are going to be even more challenging emotionally, especially with the sleep deprivation, even after your body heals from pregnancy and delivery. Twin moms are at much higher risk for postpardum depression, and it can start this early. Your OB may be able to give you advice to make you more comfortably physically, and may be of assistance with a referral to mental health professionals or support groups for new moms that help with the emotional challenges of this time. One last thing. It sounds silly, but just stepping outside to see the sunshine a few minutes a day could really help your mood.
– Is it possible for you to get help watching/taking care of your 2-year old? Sleep and rest helped me. I used one of those large inflatable yoga balls to sit on whenever I watched tv. I would sit on that yoga ball and round my hips. It helped me just get through some of the pain. Sleeping with a body pillow also helped too. The final weeks are rough. If your mom or hubby can help watch your 2-year old while you get some much needed rest, I’m sure that will help even if a little bit. I also did prenatal yoga. Any type of yoga that requires meditation or relaxation is helpful too.
– I totally disagree. The pregnancy was by far the hardest part of having twins. I was miserable. Once they were out it was MUCH better. Hang in there girl! Every day they get to cook is a day they don’t have to spend In The NICU.
Are you a new twin parent? Check out Natalie Diaz’s new book “What To Do When You’re Having Two: The Twin Survival Guide From Pregnancy Through the First Year”, available in stores now!
The rate of twin births has risen 79 percent over the last three decades, and continues to increase. A mom of fraternal twins and a national guru on having two, Natalie Diaz launched Twiniversity, a supportive website with advice from the twin-trenches.
What to Do When You’re Having Two is the definitive how-to guide to parenting twins, covering how to make a Birth Plan checklist, sticking to one sleep schedule, managing double-duty breastfeeding, stocking up on all the necessary gear, building one-on-one relationships with each child, and more.
Accessible and informative, What to Do When You’re Having Two is the must-have manual for all parents of twins.
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