Twin parents have our own language. It may not be as complex as the language our twins develop to communicate with each other, but we definitely have our own set of vocabulary and commonly used phrases. We need comebacks for those trips to the grocery store that become a performance everyone seems invited to. We need ways to express just how chaotic twin life really is. We need to laugh.
Here are 10 things only twin parents say.
The moment twin parents find out we’re having mutiples the word singleton becomes a regular part of our everyday conversations. We work it in every chance we get.
“My sister has two singletons.”
“My singleton pregnancy was easier.”
“Look, honey! This egg has two yolks. The rest of the carton are singletons.”
“This would be a great activity for a singleton.”
2. “Yes, they’re twins.”
This one includes our I’m-just-trying-to-make-a-quick-Target-run-while-keeping-two-babies-happy tone as we head in the opposite direction. The exception is when we meet another set of twins or twin parents. In this case we give a silent salute or knowing grin. Sometimes we strike up a conversation full of twin lingo. This one is also usually followed by “Are they identical?” regardless of whether they are boy/girl or look nothing alike.
3. “Our hands are full, but not as full as our hearts.”
Twin parents are well aware of our lack of hands to spare. For whatever reason strangers often point out the obvious. This is our comeback to get them to keep walking if we don’t feel like talking. If we do feel like talking, we agree then ask them to help. “Yes, my hands are full. Not as full as my heart! Can you get the door, please?”
4. “Did you mean to ask if we used fertility treatments (stranger we have never met)?”
This one usually follows the dreaded “Are they natural?” question. Don’t be surprised if we assume you want to know more about family planning if you ask twin parents such a personal question. We may also ask you to explain what exactly an artificial twin is or ask you what position you used to conceive your singleton. While getting ice cream when I was pregnant with our twins the cashier actually asked me how he could get twins. He said he thought it would be fun. Maybe he feels this way because he wouldn’t be the one carrying them.
5. “Do we really need two of those?”
Having twins does not necessarily mean two of everything. Why buy two when they can share? Sharing is a valuable life lesson. Twins outgrow things at an insanely quick pace. If we can get away with just one we will figure out a way to make it work. Twin parenting is all about getting creative.
6. “They’re complaining about one baby?”
Sorry singleton parents. Twin parents are puzzled at times when you complain. We try not to say anything to you. It’s not because we think any number of children to care for is stress free. We would never want to downplay how hard parenting is for everyone, but we are baffled because when we only have to care for one baby it feels like a break. Caring for one baby means you have one free hand. That free hand is available for eating, coffee, Instagramming, Facebook stalking, even putting away dishes. The possibilties are endless. Twin parents learn to use one hand to do just about anything. One baby is napping and the other is playing quietly? Coffee will be hot today!
7. “Is there a twin discount?”
Never hurts to ask, right? You never know. The manager might make one up on the spot if there isn’t an official discount for two yet. Unfortunately, there usually isn’t. Maybe if enough twin parents band together and start asking for twin discounts it just might happen (cough IKEA cough). Buying two of almost everything is not cheap. Some stores will oblige if you ask nicely and often enough. They may offer a small discount or coupon. I’ll take it.
8. “This place is not made for double strollers.”
Most stores make hauling around a double stroller virtually impossible. Twin parents end up either carrying our littles or knocking over inventory like a bull in a china shop. Everyone, including the bewildered sales clerk, sees us coming.
Dear Children’s Boutiques,
Parents of multiples want to shop in your stores. We’ve tried. Believe me, we want to partake in all the cute, new baby gear you have to offer. We’ll buy double what the parents pushing a single stroller buy. All we need is an aisle big enough to fit a double wide stroller and our massive diaper bag (pay no attention to the multiple tubes of butt paste and mismatched socks falling out of it). This simply means the square footage of your store needs to be roughly the size of three football fields. Thank you so much.
Parents of Multiples
9. “I don’t always have babies, but when I do I have two at a time.”
“You can’t scare me! I have twins.”
“Having two singletons close in age is just like having twins! Says no twin parent ever.”
We can’t help ourselves. Twin parents love to create cheesy memes about parenting multiples. It helps keep us sane. We have to find humor in the twinsanity. Even better are the t-shirts and coffee mugs we plaster with our sayings and hashtags. #twinning #twinadoes #twintastic #twinlife #nosleep #twinsomnia #twinsanity #twinlifeisthebestlife #ihadtwinsbeforebeyoncemadeitcool #twincesses #twinproblems
10. “Two for the price of two.”
Having twins never means getting two for the price of one. Sure, there’s only one (exhausting) pregnancy and twins can share some things, but there is no discount for birthing more than one baby at a time. Each baby needs their own formula, diapers, clothes, and more.
Twin parenting is a crazy rollercoaster ride, but at least it’s a fun one with plenty of humor. Our twin lingo is just one of the perks of raising mutiples. What are your favorite twin parent sayings?
Melissa Titus taught Kindergarten and 2nd grade in the public school system for ten years. She is taking a break from the education field to begin her new adventure as a SAHM to her boy/girl twins born n July 2016. When she’s not spending time with her husband or taking care of her twins, she loves to write, bake using her great grandmother’s recipes, support others still in the midst of infertility, and explore the great outdoors while attempting to photograph it. You can follow her on Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest.