I assumed that since I was an extrovert, it would be a bit easier for me to go out with my twins. NOPE. I apologize to every twin mom out there. Nothing really makes it “easier”, but – just like as an introvert – there are a few pros and cons to being an extrovert while raising twins.
∙ I don’t mind being the center of attention when it has to do with my adorable kids
∙ I have no problem answering a lot of questions (except to the gentleman who asked if it hurt)
∙ I have a constant source of conversation
∙ I have no reservations accepting all the help that is offered/given wherever I am.
∙ I am finding myself at home a lot more than I am used to
∙ I have to stick to a routine and that means bedtimes, naptimes, and leaving places early
∙ When I do go out to be with people, I am mostly just taking care of the twins and leave feeling unsatisfied with the amount of people-time that went unfulfilled
My twins (boy/girl) are already 1.5 years old and I really haven’t done anything about these cons yet. I haven’t really even processed the feelings. So what do I do about the cons?
I could change my response to some of them! I need to be grateful for the routine. It is the reason my husband and I function and it’s how we’re able to even go out at all.
I could remind myself that it will get easier as they grow older. It’s already come a long way! We can stay longer at places now (a bit) and I can use the double stroller and do all kinds of things on my own. It’s only a matter of time before we can do a little more yet with them, and then a little more, etc.
I could (surprise, surprise) ask for help! I have the kindest friends and family in the world. They often take over for me without me even asking and instead of accepting and enjoying it, I worry and don’t make use of the time they’ve given me. I need to take my own advice and accept the help and then enjoy adult conversation.
It’s been a big struggle for me to be home so much with the kids. I refuel when I’m around other people. It’s a challenge for me to stay home when I want to get out, to leave gatherings early, or to choose to stay home because I need to for my mental health—even though I still miss seeing the people I love.
I do a lot of external processing by venting to my sister, texting the girls, asking for prayer support, going to counseling, and trying to choose gratefulness.
It’s never impossible, even though, as I hear my twins starting to cry in their cribs, it feels a bit like it might be. I just have to look at how far I have come to know that I’m on my way to being even better.
I will continue to learn new things about myself and find better and better routines, and eventually be able to give my extrovert-self a little more me-time as the twins grow older.
Everyone has a different approach to these issues. Maybe you’re more introverted and can’t imagine recharging by being around other people. But I know I’ve found a lot of value in hearing how different people experience these things. I hope my extroverted nature might help some of you too.
Stephanie Peters is a happy, tired 27-year-old wife & mom to a 3-year-old girl and 1-year-old fraternal boy/girl twins. She lives for her family, honesty, and relatable memes. She loves nachos, singing, and striking things off lists (i.e. shower?). She’s a procrastinator and an extrovert (who also just wants to be alone & watch Netflix). Keep up with her thoughts & film photos on her blog or Instagram.