Parenting Twins in the Teen Years and Beyond

twins teens college

We asked our members with older twins to share some of their experiences raising twins into the teen years and beyond. Their answers were amazing! For many of you it will feel like you’re looking into a crystal ball and seeing your future…

Read below for their great tips, advice, and heartwarming stories, all from our own Twiniversity followers!

“My boy/girl twins turned 16 in February — high school sophomores. They have had separate classes/teachers all through school, except in middle school they had the same teachers and classes, but during different class times. Now in high school as they explore their own interests, they have their own friends, yet support each other as well. Started my son with drivers training first as his schedule fit better at the time, but he lost interest. My daughter took to it over last summer and passed her road test 2 weeks before her 16th birthday and got her license the day after her Sunday birthday. She has been driving on her own for almost 5 weeks now (she didn’t want to take on all the snow so she’s been picky about the days she drives.) NOW her brother is more interested so we’ll get him back on track after the school year ends and he has the time.

chores teensThey are very respectful to each other’s boy/girlfriends, and all in all I’m very pleased with the people they are becoming. Neither are all that interested in dating — they instead all hang out in groups and do things (bowling, movies, etc.) as groups. Homework comes before chores, and they chip in as they can amongst their busy after-school lives with dance, volunteering, robotics and automation club, photography club, babysitting, etc., so I let them have their time and don’t enforce too many chores on them. I know they are capable but high school only comes once. If I ask, they will chip in.

College preparations scare me, and to think I’ll be an empty-nester in two years saddens me! I certainly have enjoyed my time with and for them and although I’m somewhat looking forward to getting back into the workforce full time, I more so can’t wait to see what life on their own brings!

So, the long and short of it all; as you’ve heard a million and one times already- time goes by so fast! If you are consistent, and teach them early, you see the rewards very quickly as they grow in to teenagers! The cleanest floors, the folded laundry, the freshly made beds, the sweetest smelling bathrooms are fantastic but I’m glad I gave myself permission to let it go, just a bit and enjoy them first and foremost.” – Pamela H.

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“My boys are 21 and in college. One suggestion I make — don’t rush them through school. I’m a preschool teacher and I see parents trying to push them in to Kindergarten too fast. My boys were age 6 starting kindergarten and it only helped, all the way up. When you get to the other end and they are off to collage, you will be glad they had that extra year of maturity to deal with the adult/college issues. Give them the gift of an extra year of preschool if they need it.” – Tamara P.

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“I’m expecting twins this summer BUT I am also a twin! I can say from a twin point of view, having a twin makes all the challenges and changes that much easier. They always have someone who understands them in those moments! They will have different tastes in everything from dates to food to friends! And that’s the way it should be. One of the harder transitions is college, especially if they go their separate ways. It’s a great time for growth but make time for each of them. Things can’t always be even but they will understand compromise will help them learn. Congrats to all the twin moms. I’m thrilled to have twins as being a twin is one of the best blessings that ever happened to me!” – Lisa P.

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teen twins“My twins are 18 and trying to decide on colleges. It’s been a stressful year, especially compared to last year when we were in the ‘sweet spot.’ My advice? Save your money! Double tuition is brutal! Time is at a premium, too, as each twin needs a lot of hand holding at this time in his life. I wish we had started the college process much earlier, say in their sophomore year, as it would have helped eleviate the stress now.” – Christina B.

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“My girls will be graduating from college together in just a few weeks. We’ve navigated the ins and outs of middle school, high school, learning to drive, graduating high school with honors and landing some solid college scholarships. They studied abroad, they’ve lived apart and lived together. I think the greatest accomplishment is that at 22 they are independent, self reliant individual and still best friends. I love sharing our experiences. I think we did a lot right, had a few missteps — but learned a lot along the way. With graduation so close, we’ll be entering another phase of our lives with our girls. I love sharing our story.” – Janette P.

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“My girls will be 19 — just about finished with freshman year of college. Hard to believe… they both chose different colleges and different careers. Very different life now. They are full blown adults making adult choices…” – Peggy K.

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“I have identical 13 yr old boys. Having older twins certainly has unique challenges. The toughest thing is sports and school. School is challenging for one but not the other. The one that school is hard for gets down about why it’s hard for him and not his brother. The one that school is easy for is in honors classes because he needs to be challenged and he pushes back because his brother isn’t in any. They both play football and it is hard when one has a good game and the other one doesn’t.” – Keri W.

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“My boys are 15 and a half. One of the hardest parts was one made the all star team and the other didn’t. They are very close. And it was painful and a balance to be happy for one and console the other one.” – Judy S.

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“Our boy/girl twins are now 12, and while there are LOTS of challenges with adolescence/puberty, there is a HUGE twin benefit that often goes unsung. We are VERY much against our twins having cell phones/handheld internet access outside our supervision. If we had an only child (or singly, born in sequence children), we’d hear “But I am the ONLY one who doesn’t have _______” more often. As it stands, we KNOW there is always another child who doesn’t have _______, their TWIN! (And in many, many instances, it’s been helpful to other parents who similarly wish to prolong the acquisition of such things when not one, but TWO others don’t have_________ either!)” – Cheryl L.

Did you survive the teen years with twins? Share your story in the comments below!

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