Last updated on September 30th, 2021 at 10:16 am
Being a parent is not at all what I expected. Of course, there was a lot I never expected. First and foremost I never expected twins. Now I would not change my path for the world. I love my children more than anything in the world. But certainly, there are things that I know now that no one ever told me.
I don’t know why we don’t share these things. I am sure it is not just me. But maybe in the frenetic and frantic pace of early childhood, we forget. Of course, there is the mind-sucking power of sleep deprivation as well. Maybe it is because we all want to watch new parents “get it” and understand themselves. This way we can nod in sage understanding and welcome them to the club of parenthood. It is just one of the mysteries of this great ride we are on, I suppose.
Here’s what no one ever told me about about parenting twins
What would I tell new parents? New mothers and fathers? I would tell them all the things I was never told myself.
Pregnancy sucks
It is a horrible, miserable state of being. All those women who say they love it (I am looking at you, Michelle Duggar) are nuts. The only thing I can equate it to was when I was sick with lymph node cancer when I was 19. Pregnancy symptoms were worse, mostly because I could take little or nothing to make me feel better. But you endure and enjoy the few good things about it because you have a new life growing inside you and there is nothing in the world that is like that.
The baby phase passes quickly
I always wondered why women wanted to keep having babies when it was so miserable to be pregnant. I get it now. All you want is that little warm bundle to cuddle and love. Yet by the time you are rested enough to enjoy it and love on that baby, they are no longer a baby. Then you are off into the toddler, preschool, and big kid phases. You look back and 4 years have gone by and all you have to remember those babies with is the pictures. They never were that small, were they? Yes, they were. You were just too wiped out to remember.
The first few months might be terrible
Again I hear all the naysayers disagreeing with me. “Oh no, I glowed all the time and breastfed perfectly. I was confident in myself and showered each day and never cried.” Yeah, right. It is a time in your life when you have just given birth, which either entails hours of labor and pushing, or major abdominal surgery (or both!) You are supposed to come home from the hospital after a day or two and automatically be able to do everything even though you are more tired than you have ever been in your life. Also, there is the overwhelming prospect that you are now responsible for these children. You must keep them alive. They are fragile and vulnerable and you are their world. It felt daunting as hell to me, especially after the doctor told me I shouldn’t drive a car for a week. “Instead try to keep these two small humans alive…” *whimper*
Hang in there. It gets better though. I promise!
No one ever told me that my children would be so funny
I mean, seriously. The stuff they say and do? The words that come out of their mouths? Even just the general way they experience the world is so funny I can hardly stand it sometimes. Of course, I know that they are my children and I am supposed to find them funny, right? Feel free to lie to me.
No one ever told me how emotional being a mom would make me
There are times that now, even four years later I marvel at their noses and toes and how big they are. I am amazed that they grew inside of me and we all survived. Just looking at them reminds me to be even more thankful to be alive. I had postpartum cardiomyopathy after their birth, including heart failure, and I didn’t die. I am very lucky and I know that. They make me thankful each day.
I’m sure there were a million more little things that no one ever told me. But in my mind, those were the biggest ones that really stuck with me. In truth, we will never remember all of it. That is why we document it all in pictures and baby books.
This job is the hardest thing I have ever done. Yes, that is a trite statement, but it is true. Those of you without children will never understand. We can tell you a million different ways but the light will never dawn till you have children of your own. It is just the way it is.
So welcome to the club. It is a bumpy ride… but the views are amazing.
Katie Sutton works in the IT field and is the proud mom of nearly four-year-old boy/girl twins. She lives in Denver Colorado with her husband, her kids, two cats, and one dog. She enjoys writing, reading, and travel, all of course when the twins allow. Katie hopes her articles will give inspiration and a glimpse into her crazy world. She thinks life is full of new wonderful experiences at all turns and she cannot wait to live that life to the fullest.
