Learn why a mom of twins thinks she's a hot mess mom and why embracing her hot mess tendencies has allowed her to become a better mom overall.
I’m a hot mess mom. I’m just going to go ahead and throw that out there. We all know who I’m talking about. The mom who shows up late, always forgets something, and is always in a rush. She has a permanent mom bun and a favorite baggy t-shirt. When you come to her house it looks like a bomb went off.
We all know a mom like that. You may even be one yourself. But, what life as a twin mama has taught me is that it’s okay to be a hot mess!
We’ve all heard people talk about the stereotypical mom who has it all together, but do we really know that many of them? Probably not. You see, if you look closely enough, even the mom who makes it look easy is really kind of a mess. The only difference between a hot mess mom and the stereotypical “together” mom is the former is willing to admit and embrace her messiness.
I have learned that by embracing all the mess that is in my life, and all the mess that I am, I am so much happier. It's nothing to see me jamming out to Cardi B in my house or in my car with my kids. Or, seeing me holler out “Jesus, take the wheel!” for the millionth time because I'm about to straight-up lose my mind. I love who I am, and I want my kids to know that who they are is just fine.
I noticed that embracing my messiness has led me to many new friendships. I put myself out there in all my glory. I've made lifelong friendships because I found a new confidence within myself that I can only pin on motherhood. I have finally found myself and I love it.
How has embracing myself changed my life?
Since I decided to be who I am, I have been so much happier. There's a weight lifted off of you when you quit worrying about what other people think (within reason!). It's hard to keep up an image of who you think you should be when you have so many other things on your plate. I'm not afraid to say “no” anymore. I'm not afraid of making mistakes. I can't be everyone's cup of tea, but if those around me love me then that's all I need.
I'm More Confident
I'm awesome, okay? It took almost 30 years for me to realize it, but when I did, it changed EVERYTHING. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, every single person in the world can tell you you're pretty, funny, great, etc. But until YOU believe it, their words are going to fall on deaf ears. Don't let their words go in one ear and out the other. You deserve to be confident and happy. You birthed multiples for a Heaven's sake! You are SO awesome!
I feel like I can do anything. I mean, why can't I? I'm raising toddler twins, what can possibly be harder than that?! (I can already see the moms of teen twins shaking their heads. I'm sure I haven't seen NOTHING yet!)
I Make Friends Easier
You know how people say it's hard to make friends as an adult? That doesn’t have to be the case! Really! It all starts with a “hello”. I feel like my current friendships are much more solid. Whether we have been friends for years or months, I feel like my friendships are more mature now. My friends love my kids like they do their own, and I love theirs the same.
I make more of an effort now. I try harder to show up to events that are important to my family and friends. I'm less selfish. I try to hype everyone up. I want everyone I surround myself with to feel the same kind of happiness that I do. They deserve it!
I’ve also thrown small talk out the window. When I meet a stranger, I want them to leave happier than I found them. If they're as stressed as I am then who knows what sort of battles strangers are fighting. Be a light in their day. And you never know, any person could become a lifelong friend, but you’ll never know if you don’t say “hello”.
I’m a Better Mom
You know how you’re supposed to lead by example? Well, how can you lead by example if you aren’t true to yourself?
We spend our lives trying to teach our kids to be themselves and that who they are is awesome and appreciated. But, how can they believe that when we aren’t happy with who we are? It’s amazing what kids see in us, and how they see things that we try to hide, such as our own insecurities.
Another way I’ve become a better mom is I don’t worry about what other people think of my parenting anymore. My kids are happy, healthy, and growing stronger by the day. We have so much fun together. I’m not afraid to look stupid if it makes them happy. Hell, I’m not afraid to look stupid if it makes ANYONE happier.
When I found out I was pregnant with twins it was a complete shock. I was planning to be the childless aunt my whole life. I didn't realize at the time how much I needed my twins. I always rolled my eyes when I heard people say, “My kids saved me”, but once I had my babies, I understood.
My kids love me unconditionally. The bigger and uglier my hair is, the more my son loves it. And (just like her mama) the tackier something is, the more my daughter loves it. I am a hot mess and I embrace it unapologetically. I am happier for it. My kids are happier for it.
Embracing who you are allows you to be the mother you were meant to be. Life is so much easier when you love yourself!
Jessie Ballard is the sassy southern mama of two year old boy/girl twins, and author of Mom Buns and Moscato. Born and raised in the great state of North Carolina, Jessie works in Accounting and blogs as a way to keep her sanity. She speaks fluent sarcasm and lives her life full of humor, always trying to make someone laugh. Check her out on Facebook!