Expecting twins or entering a particularly difficult stage of twin parenting that feels totally overwhelming? Here’s what twin parents shared about the difficulty level of various stages of life with twins!
Life with twins makes you feel all the feelings.
From the overwhelming sense of “How blessed am I?” to the soul-crushing, sleep-deprived fog of “How can I keep doing this on no sleep?”
Whether you’ve got twinnies on the way or you’re in the thick of a particularly challenging twin parenting stage, know that each stage is temporary. For better or for worse.
And whatever you’re dealing with, there’s likely another twin parent out there who has felt your exact struggle.
To give you a broader context of the perceived difficulty level of those first 5 years with twins, we called on other twin parents to rank different years and stages of twin parenthood.
Take a look below to see the rankings from most difficult to “less” difficult.
The numbers at a glance for difficulty ratings for the early years with twins
Here’s how twin parents ranked the first five years of life with twins on a difficulty scale of 1 (It was manageable) through 10 (I was in survival mode).
| Twin parenting stage | Average difficulty rating (on a scale of 1 – 10) |
| 0–3 months | 8.9 |
| 3–6 months | 8.9 |
| 6–12 months | 7.0 |
| 1 year old | 7.4 |
| 2 year old | 8.1 |
| 3 year old | 7.8 |
| 4 year old | 5.1 |
| 5 year old | 4.1 |
Twiniversity tip: If you’re in your first two years of twin parenting, check out our First Year With Twins week-by-week resource pages and our Second Year With Twins month-by-month resource pages!
Top two most difficult twin parenting stages:
Based on what twin parents shared in our survey, the most challenging twin parenting stages are the newborn twin phase (0 – 3 months) and 3 – 6 months. Both were rated on average as nearly 9/10 on the difficulty scale.
Top challenges during the first six months with twins include:
- Taking care of twins while recovering from birth
- Having premature twins or a NICU stay
- Breastfeeding and bottle feeding challenges
- Hardly getting any sleep
- Struggling to get babies on a schedule that feels doable
- Teething
- Beginning to introduce solids or baby led weaning with two at once
3rd most difficult twin parenting stage: 2 year-old twins
We’ve all heard the phrase “terrible twos” thrown around, so it comes as no surprise that life with 2-year-old twins is rated the most difficult stage after the first 6 months with an average of 8.1/10!
Common challenges faced with 2-year-old twins include:
- Sleep regressions
- Tantrums
- Potty training
- Picky eating
- Fighting naps
4th most difficult twin parenting stage: 3-year-old twins
The next most challenging stage comes with 3-year-old twinnies, rated on average as a 7.8/10.
(In my own experience, age 3 with my twins was actually slightly more challenging than age 2. The tantrums and strong-willed nature of my 3-year-olds were forces to be reckoned with.
The biggest difficulties of life with 3-year-old twins include:
- Changing schedules with some fighting naps
- Continued tantrums and big feelings
- Potty training (including night potty training)
- Picky eating
5th most difficult twin parenting stage: 1-year-old twins
Life with 1-year-old twins comes in right in the middle of the difficulty ratings with an average of 7.1/10. It’s a slightly less challenging time than the first six months with twins but still comes with some big hurdles!
Common challenges faced with 1-year-old twins include:
- Changing schedules with naps and feedings
- Transitioning to childcare (for some) and dealing with illnesses from being in public places more often
- Keeping two littles busy all day
- Keeping up with developmental milestones
- Having two little walkers on the loose
- Transitioning to solids
- Traveling with two toddlers at once
- Some overnight wakings for some
6th most difficult twin parenting stage: 6 to 12 months
The 6 to 12 month stage with twins is somewhat of a reprieve between the early newborn struggles and mobile 1-year-olds moving in two different directions.
This stage came in at an average difficulty rating of 7/10.
Common challenges for 6-12-month old twinnies include:
- Baby led weaning and beginning solids
- Sleep regressions
- Changing routines and schedules from infant to early toddlerhood
- Teething
- Developmental milestones like crawling, talking, and walking
- Illnesses as they are exposed to more public places
- Traveling with two infants at once
7th most difficult twin parenting stage: 4-year-old twins
By age 4, the difficulty level of life with twins finally evens out nicely with an average of 5.1/10. Phew!
This is the stage that I’m currently in with my own twinnies, and I found myself saying to my husband the other day: “I feel like we are entering the golden age of twin parenting.” As in we have finally overcome the survival mode stages with twins.
I would personally rank this stage as more of a 6 out of 10, but that’s mainly because my twins tend to rile each other up easily and sometimes taking them in public places together can still be a bit chaotic.
And since my kiddos are only in part-time daycare (about 15 hours in total per week), I am still taking on the majority of caregiving for them during the weekdays, and it can be tiring. But otherwise, I really love age 4 with my twinnies and it’s definitely much less challenging than the first 3 years.
8th most difficult twin parenting stage: 5-year old twins
See there is proof that there is a light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to raising twins. By 5-years-old, most twin parents ranked the difficulty level as only 4.1/10. This is great news for those of you who are struggling in the earlier stages hoping that there is some relief in the future!
Common challenges at 5 years old include:
- Beginning school (for many)
- Learning to read and write
- Adjusting to no nap in their schedule
What else twin parents have to say about life with twins at different stages:
“Twin boys turning three in a month…. Level 10 survival mode non stop since day 1.”
“I’m in trauma 3’s right now. Help.”
“I can’t remember anything before 2 lol… but 4 is awesome!!”
“I have very little recollection of any of that. That’s saying something.”
“3 is an 11. Everything else was a cakewalk.”
“Under one was hard because I was a first time mother… 3-4 was a 15 out of 10 by far the hardest year.”
“I ran on pure adrenaline 0-5 yrs… once they went to school my body was in crash out mode. They’re 10 now. But I did it completely solo so maybe that’s why it’s all a blur.”
“I really forgot how hard it was with the twins in the first months. I remember sharing shifts with my husband so we can sleep. It started to be easier when they were 2. But every stage is different and hard. Now my twins are almost 7 and I can’t stop thinking how lucky I am to have them.”
“It gets easier the more they are able to communicate!”
“The first couple of months were rough until I learned to relax, screw the schedule and just embrace the chaos. After that it was soooo fun having 2 babies!”
More thoughts on twin parenting stages
“Newborn twins felt like a torture chamber that never let you out due to lack of sleep.”
“After age 4, it became significantly easier.”
“Each stage had its ups and downs. I kept a schedule and only did what was possible. Too many times people expect what is impossible. Do your best and everything will fall into place. Whatever help you get, take it.”
“Now my twins are almost 7 and I can’t stop thinking how lucky I am to have them.”
“They say it doesn’t get easier, it just gets different. For me, having more independent kids makes all the difference!”
Got twins? Us too! The Twiniversity Podcast with Natalie Diaz was created BY parents of twins FOR parents of twins, from your pregnancy days through your twin’s teenage years, this podcast covers it all. It’s all about parenting twins, offering plenty of strategies for making life better, parenting hacks, and, of course, humor. We are laughing WITH you every step of the way.
“I think having two at once is easier because they have a built-in buddy and play with/entertain each other.”
“My twins are 22 now, and it’s been an absolute joy and privilege being their mum. Cherish all the moments with your babies when they’re little as it flies by.”
“Wait until 15!” (humorously noting the teenage years are their own category):”
“These ages were nothing for me… At least they LOVED us. Now the teenage years… these are all NEXT LEVEL. Cherish these early years.”
“I made it by the grace of God and the help of my village.”
Want to see more twin parenting resources? Check out these articles too!
- When Does it Get Easier With Twins? Twin Parents Tell All
- The Top 10 Twinfant Parenting Struggles
- A Day in the Life With Two Year Old Twins
Paige Figueroa is a mom to fraternal twins. After teaching English for 9 years, she now works from home as a content marketing strategist and entrepreneur so she can spend more time with her children. She loves helping other moms and women enjoy more freedom in their lives by monetizing their passions. You can follow her on IG and TikTok @mombossfreedom.
