After sharing a nursery or bedroom for months or years, making the transition to individual bedrooms for twins can feel like a big change. So here’s one twin mom’s story about transitioning to individual rooms plus even more honest advice from other real twin parents who’ve been down this road before!
As twin parents, one of the things my husband and I have struggled with since our tiny duo made their debut four years ago is sleep. (Not surprising, I know!)
Sleep challenges are inevitable with babies and kids, but as twin parents, we are up against so many more obstacles when it comes to successful naps and bedtimes.
I remember finally giving sleep training a try when our twinnies were 10 months old. (I wish we knew about gentle sleep coaching then). We finally felt like we got our first good night’s sleep since having the twins.
After that, the next big transition we underwent was moving from cribs to toddler beds when they were just about 3 years old—and that was certainly a bit of a struggle. Our boy girl twins are very close and get really silly with each other.
So being in a bed without rails next to their very best friend was a bit of a catastrophe for the first few weeks. They just wanted to jump on each other’s beds and be silly. There would be nights where we thought they were both nearing shuteye just to find that moments later one of the twins riled the other back up again.
Eventually they settled down to a degree, but for most of that year, sleep felt like a rollercoaster of chaos.
As we neared the winter holidays and two months before their fourth birthday, we decided that it was time to finally consider putting them in their own individual bedrooms. We love how close they are, and it was a little sad to think about separating them. But when we weighed all the factors, we decided that to create the calm environment needed for good sleep habits, it was time to put the two little fireballs in their own rooms after Christmas.
So for Christmas, “Santa” re-did their bedrooms (one was the former nursery, and the other was a guest room/office space). It was really a joy to see their eyes light up when they saw their own big kid rooms and big kid beds the next morning! We made sure each bedroom had its own special touches unique to each of their interests.
To backtrack a little, in the weeks preceding the holidays, we began nonchalantly talking about how cool it would be for each of them to have their own rooms. And we asked them hypothetically what they would like to have in their rooms or on their beds. (FYI: I think having these periodic chats about their own bedrooms leading up to the switch really helped them with making the transition when the time came because they weren’t totally blindsided!)
Looking back, I will admit it was definitely not the most fun way to spend Christmas Eve since we were up until nearly 3am making all the changes to the rooms while the twins slept in our master bedroom for the night. So I wouldn’t recommend making the change during the holidays if we could go back!
We’re still very much in the beginning of this transition to individual bedrooms for twins. But I will say that getting each twin to fall asleep has taken a lot less effort since having them separated.
We keep the rest of our bedtime routine the same (read together in one bedroom, brush teeth, use the potty), and then after that each of us lays with a twin for a few minutes before saying goodnight.
Overall, I feel that moving our twins to their own rooms around age 3.5/4 was the right move for us. And I’m excited to get even more sleep in the coming days as the twins get used to being on their own for sleep!
If you’re reading this wondering when to switch to individual rooms for twins or how to make the transition smoother, keep reading! You’ll hear even more advice and insights from other twin parents!
We recently asked our twin parent community…
When did you move your twins into their own bedrooms, and what made the transition easier?
And here’s what twin parents had to say:
When they became too goofy at sleep time to share a room
“B/G twins and they separated at 3.5 years old when too much playing was happening instead of sleeping. However, we have a lake house we spend the summer at and they are 9 now and still want to share when we are there. We’ve asked numerous times but they like summer bunk beds and ‘sleep overs.’” – Pamela
“Age 3, when they were keeping each other up to play instead of sleeping.” – Devon
“3.5 with boy girl twins. My son was keeping my daughter up to play at bedtime. Keeping as many consistent routines as possible, helped the transition and afterwards. We made each room ‘theirs’ and included them in decor decisions. They were invested!” – Rose
“The summer before kindergarten. Twin A continued to wake twin B.” – Amy
“When they turned 2, we separated our twins’ bedrooms because they stopped napping (having too much fun playing together). After separating them, sleep times are going so much smoother now!” – Monica
“We put our boy girl twins in separate rooms when they were 5 1/2. Going great and they go to sleep so much easier now!” – Valerie
“Boy/girl twins and just before they turned 7! It was a rough transition and the only reason we did it was because they were waking each other up too much. We still sometimes find our girl in her brother’s room some mornings. But we let them design their own rooms and choose things that they were excited about. That helped a lot!” – Carly
“Boy girl twins, age 3. The never ending night time shenanigans were too much. Separate rooms and they go to sleep immediately.” – Heather
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When their room became too small/we ended up having more space
“Age 5 (kindergarten)when they went from toddler bed to twin because their room would have become a bit crowded. We let them choose their own room color and bedding.” – Jennifer Lynn
“At 9 years old, but only because the house was a small starter home, so my 3 kids all shared a tiny room. We moved into a bigger house, and they all got their own rooms.” – Julie
“My twin girls are 6.5, they’ve always shared a room, through a remodel project, they will get their own rooms and are excited to have their own space. That said, I expect some sleepovers!” – Laura
“We separated our b/g twins when we moved into a new house at 4 and they got their own rooms!” – Lindsay
When they seemed ready or asked to separate
“Summer age 7 for our b/g twins (they have a March birthday). They were ready and wanted it. And this way they could have much more space and it be their own. It was fun for them and me to make their rooms their special place (wall colours, decor, furniture, etc).” – Raquel
“We only split them when they requested. They were 10 when we did. Up until 10, they were fine together, but one is super messy and one is neat. Both had enough…” – Lisa
“My twin sister and I got separate bedrooms around 10 years old (my mom says I asked first). I think I’ll do the same with my boys and wait to have them say something themselves.” – Jacquelyn
“My son literally moved his toddler mattress downstairs. I couldn’t decide to laugh or cry. He was 4. I helped after he wrestled it to the stairs. When they are ready, they are ready.” – Danny
They didn’t/don’t have separate rooms…
“My daughters were in the same room even in college! When they both got married that was the first time they lived apart. They married within a year of each other.” – Nicole
“11 year old twin boys here… they still share a room. They have had no interest in separating at this time, which is completely ok with us!” – Katie
“Mine are 11 and still share a room.” – Cathy
“My identical twins have to share a room but it’s a big room so they each have their own space.” – Christine
“Never. We have a 3 bedroom house and had twins and triplets, so they have to share bedrooms.” – Julie
“My two sets both share rooms. They are all boys and are 7 and 4 years old.” – Annie
“My twins are 5.5 (boys). One wants to move out to his own room and the other one is crying that he will be lonely. I am not sure what to do! For now, I just redecorated their room to get the first one excited about it and hopefully he will want to stay longer.” – Ksenia
Curious to see even more twin parent responses about switching to individual bedrooms for twins?
Check out the original Facebook post or Instagram post!
Top tips for making the transition to individual rooms smoother
Based on what these lovely twin parents have shared, here are some key takeaways for making your transition to individual rooms for twins less chaotic:
- Keep your overall bedtime routine the same as much as possible
- Give them a choice in the matter; check in with their signs of readiness
- Talk about the change in advance so they have time to wrap their heads around it
- Weigh the pros and cons (based on whether or not they’re disturbing each other’s sleep, etc.)
- Allow them to be part of the changes (i.e. picking room colors, bedding, etc.)
- Present the idea in an exciting way (a chance to have a “big kid room,” getting to choose their own theme, etc.)
- Take advantage of other changes that may coincide to spur the transition (switching into a toddler bed/bigger bed, moving homes, another new baby, etc.)
No matter when you decide to make the transition to individual rooms (if at all), trust that you know your twins and your situation best and that you’re making the right decision. Separate bedrooms may not be the best option (or a feasible option) for all twins, and that’s completely fine!
Want to learn more about twin sleep arrangements and separating twins? Check out these articles too:
- How Do You Sleep Train Twins in the Same Room?
- Separate Rooms or Not: That is The Question
- When Should I Move Twins to Their Own Bedroom?
- How to Prepare Your Twins for Separate Classrooms?
Paige Figueroa is a mom to fraternal twins. After teaching English for 9 years, she now works from home as a content marketing strategist and entrepreneur so she can spend more time with her children. She loves helping other moms and women enjoy more freedom in their lives by monetizing their passions. You can follow her on IG and TikTok @mombossfreedom.
