The following piece was originally featured on the blog Double Doodie Dad, a personal blog by Twiniversity contributor Devin. Devin’s wife, Amy, contributed this piece to his blog and they are happy to have us share it with you today. Please visit them at their website to check out all of their great writing!
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One of the very first times we told anyone we were expecting twins, we got the question, “Did you take anything?” This would be the first of dozens of similar questions. When I responded, “yes”, it was as if I could see the level of excitement in their face drain ever so slightly. Twins weren’t as exciting when a couple used help getting pregnant. From that moment on, every time I was asked a similar question, I felt extremely insecure, not to mention offended that so many people felt it was appropriate to ask such a question. No, I don’t believe that the history of my reproductive system is any of your business, but I suppose I can tell you the last time I ovulated if you insist.
Wow, twins, are they natural? Did you have to take anything? Do twins run in your family? Were they spontaneous? I can’t tell you how many times and in how many different ways I have been asked. And every time, I grew more insecure and more annoyed. I had begun to sense that people actually believed that getting pregnant with twins by anything other than ‘natural’ methods (you know, having plain ol’ sex) made the pregnancy less valid, and in turn, made my real life kids’ lives less valid, if that’s even a real thing.
After telling my grandfather that we were expecting twins, he exclaimed, “Oh, well yeah, twins run in our family!” I was excited to hear this news. Maybe now I could just answer with a simple “yes” when people asked if twins ran in our family. Maybe I could pretend I didn’t take any pills to make me ovulate and convince everyone they were “natural” and “spontaneous”. Did the fact that twins run in my family have anything to do with the fact that we were having twins? Was it solely because taking clomid slightly increased our chances of having multiples? Was it both things acting together? Does it matter? NO. Well after getting to know these two little miracles, the insecurity and shame I once felt over how they came to be has begun to melt away. In fact, it is beginning to shift to pride.
If you’ve read my husband’s first post, you already know the story of how we became pregnant. If you haven’t, here is a long story made short. We wanted to have a kid. I hadn’t ovulated in months. I took the lowest dosage of Clomid; it didn’t work. I took the next dosage, thought I was pregnant, turns out I wasn’t. We were told it was a false positive, and later told it was a miscarriage. I took the next and highest dosage of Clomid. One shot, and bam…pregnant! Praise the Lord, we were pregnant!
After a long, uncomfortable, but thankfully healthy pregnancy, we welcomed the most beautiful human beings (well, to us at least) into the world: Hazel and Donovan. After spending the last 10 weeks of my life getting to know them and falling into a love that I had never known existed, I am beginning to feel a sense of pride for how they came to be. Because if they didn’t come into existence the way they did, they wouldn’t have come into existence, not these two exact people. And these two exact people, Hazel and Donovan, were meant to be. Regardless of whether they were ‘spontaneous’ or not, or if twins run in my family, these two tiny people are the perfect plan for Devin and me. I am not ashamed in the least of them, and so I can no longer be ashamed or insecure about how they came to be.
My husband and I wanted to have children, so we took advantage of what modern medicine had to offer in aiding us when we needed it. This non-spontaneous method raised our chances of having multiples to a whopping 8% at most. Well, we were the 8%, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We were very fortunate to be able to get pregnant with Clomid. Many couples have to continue beyond Clomid to get pregnant and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The way I feel about each of our twins is indescribable. I’m so proud to be their mom and I’m so proud to share our story. I’m not sure how I will respond to the question the next time someone decides to make it their business, but I am working on being less annoyed and expressing just how perfectly their lives came to be.
Devin and Amy married in June of 2011, and welcomed two beautiful babies in July of 2014. Donovan and Hazel have blessed their lives ever since. They live in Dublin, Ohio and are both teachers in the surrounding community. Devin teaches second grade, while Amy teaches high school math. Devin started his blog, doubledoodiedad, in order to save and share his most memorable experiences as a new father of boy/girl twins. He hopes that the stories of his experiences can help others in the parenting of their children. Amy writes occasional guest posts, adding more perspective and variety to the blog. You can view their blog at www.doubledoodiedad.blogspot.
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When people ask me “Do twins run in my family” I tell them “they do now!” What does it matter how my twins were conceived? Does it make them less of human beings? I can’t stand that question, although I know people only mean well. They don’t realize how prying it is.
I will share with people who are trying or who genuinely care that I had one month of lowest dosage of Clomid and got pregnant after a year of no success. But only people who really care or are trying themselves. Otherwise, what’s the difference?
I had my twins ‘spontaneously’ and it is still irritating to be asked the questions.
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