Last year, I went from one child to three children. I went from one life to another. From the familiar to the unknown. From one cool life to an amazing life.
I also went from supermom to superhuman.
Before I became a mother of twins, I had it all worked out. I thought I knew what “supermom” meant, and I was living it: my husband and I each had jobs we loved. We shared the daycare drop-off and pick-up duties. We shared making dinner and cleaning the house. We had time on the weekends to explore as a family and still get some downtime to each of ourselves. I was even able to organize monthly mom night outs, had time to work out (thanks to living on the campus where I worked at), and didn’t worry about having extra money for a trip to the mall. Let’s just say that I had this supermom thing down and I was having fun.
Then we went for a second baby and bam! No more supermom. Hello
superhuman! We were having twins. On top of the shock of it, my body was going to go through a completely different pregnancy. I was going to have to slow down. And as I did, I soon started to see myself in a new light. My old supermom image, the mom that was staying true to all of her old ambitions and could still do it all…well, that image was put on hold as I switched to superhuman.
As a supermom, I wanted to do it all. I was able to enjoy my work, feed my baby the good stuff, take a peaceful walk during my lunch break at work and, after picking up my child from daycare, have everyone home in time to enjoy family dinner together. Being a supermom meant that I could run, wipe, and kiss all in one day.
But what about those days where I could only smile during the morning staff meeting, laugh at the lack of sleep I’d been having that week, and feel grateful simply knowing where my child was? What if being superhuman means letting go of the perfect marriage, the perfect friendship, or your career for the moment and just accepting what “is” instead of what was “meant to be”? What if being superhuman is just that… being human?
I went from one child to three children. I went from one life to a completely
different one. Many of us are doing the same. Maybe it is your first pregnancy and you were given twins. Or maybe you are going from 2 to 3. I used to think that I knew it all. Now I’m getting the chance to learn something new. We all will experience moments in our lives that go from the familiar to the unknown. Whatever you do, keep reminding yourself of what you love about your life and especially what you love about yourself.
I love being a twin mom and I love being a mother to my son. I love that my dream to own a home with my husband is coming true. I love that I can reach out to my new twin mom friends and know I’m not alone. I love that I know I will work again.
I love that I’m realizing now that being the supermom I was was great. I love that part of me. But now, I see that each day offers the chance to be superhuman. To be myself, be it familiar or brand new – and that that is okay. We all need reminders that we are still growing, that we are still here, and that we are rocking mamas. We are human after all.
As I reflect on my life, almost a year and 1/2 later, I ask: what would I rather be? A supermom or superhuman? To my surprise, I thought that I wanted to be, was supposed to be, and needed to be a supermom. But then it hit me: it’s okay to take a break and to simply be (super)human for a while. It has taught me a lot about myself, and the old supermom is still in me.
Victoria Worch is a Student Affairs blogger for college advisors, transfer students, and twin moms. She grew up in Grass Valley, California and is currently living in the Bay Area, north of San Francisco with her husband Matthias. She enjoys organizing and inspiring teams. Her current adventure is raising her 12 month old twin daughters Ellie and Lily, and she also has a 4 year old son named Sam who LOVES building Mixel Legos. Victoria recently volunteered as the co-chair for the 10th Annual 2014 Garage Sale Fundraiser at her local twin club (Marin Parents of Multiples). She serves on MPOMC Board as the webmaster and coordinates the monthly Twin Parent Meet Up for Babies to 2 yrs. She is fueled by country music, yoga, and family trips to the coast. Victoria is also a twin mom blogger. To read more of her work visit www.victoriaestrella.com or follow her on Twitter @cafevic.