A hilarious look at getting out the door with twins in tow, which is one of the more difficult things you’ll do as a parent of twins.
1. Check/Reload the Diaper Bag.
Because babies poop. A lot. You will need wipes, diapers, and back up clothes for the inevitable poop explosions (AKA poop up the back, poop up the front, poop out the sides). Just to be safe, pack extra back up clothes. Two sets for each baby.
This is your warm up. out the door with twins
2. Bring Snacks (for eating).
Because babies are always hungry.
3. Bring Back-Up Snacks (for bribing).
Because this is how you will get things done.
4. Bring Back-Up, Back-up Snacks (for crisis negotiation).
Because meltdowns and tantrums are real, and scary. Nothing makes me sweat faster than a screaming baby (unless it’s two screaming babies). Arm yourself with food. out the door with twins
Your heart rate is really going here, you will notice a light sweat.
5. Pack the Car.
Because leaving the house with twins is like preparing for battle. No baby gear gets left behind. According to the article, How to Mentally Prepare Soldiers for the Stress of Warfare, “Once you know that you are heading into a battle zone, gather as much info as you can about the terrain, people, climatic conditions as well as the political scenario and the causes of conflict. It would also help if you talk to someone who has been there. There is no substitute for firsthand knowledge.” Be prepared for anything.
Strength training mode.
6. Pack the Babies.
Move the babies from the play area/cribs into their car seats. Buckle them in, then run around looking for fun toys for the car. It can’t be the same old boring toys. They will be agitated with how long it’s taking you to find things, so hurry up.
Cardio mode. out the door with twins
7. Change a Diaper (or Two).
Because someone will poop just as you are buckling them into the car seat. It’s just how things work.
You might wonder if you’ve hit the wall here. You haven’t. Keep your eye on the prize.
8. Bring Babies to the Car.
You’re so close now, you can almost taste it! Once everyone is clean, strapped in, and ready to go, carry the car seats to the car. Click the seats into the bases, get yourself into the car, turn on car, and check the rear view mirror to make sure you really have two babies. out the door with twins
9. Go Get the Other Baby.
Because you have not one, but two babies. And you don’t get much sleep. Remembering everything is hard.
Engage your muscles. Wipe the sweat/tears from your eyes. Carry on.
10. Drive Towards Your Destination.
You did it! That wasn’t so bad, now was it?!
Rachel Brehm, mother to fraternal twin girls, spends her days feeding, cleaning, and playing with twin babies (rinse and repeat). Brehm writes for an Insurance Law Blog as well as an Eating Disorder Law Blog (rated as one of Top 25 Eating Disorder Blogs of 2012) focusing her writing on insurance advocacy, insurance coverage, body image, eating disorder recovery, and weight stigma. You can follow Rachel on Facebook and at her website.