Last updated on August 23rd, 2023 at 10:29 pm
I love being an older mom. I got pregnant with twins at age 47 and had them at 48. My pregnancy was quite smooth, considering my age and the fact that we were having multiples. I did get gestational diabetes and I did have preeclampsia but both twins were born healthy at 36 weeks 2 days. One came home with me at discharge, and the other came home the very next day. My children had no developmental issues and no medical issues.
Throughout my pregnancy, I was told all the negative aspects of being an older mom. Friends and family questioned me and had all sorts of information about what it is like, although not a single one of them had gone through it. Health and longevity seems to be an issue that others like to point out, but we personally are in good health. Of the older parents I do know, I’ve found them to be more physically active with their children than the younger parents. Older parents tend to be a little more on-point when it comes to health. And truth be told, the unfortunate demise of any parent almost never has anything to do with age. I have kept positive though the negative comments.
True, because of my husband and my age, a normal built-in support system is not in place. We did not have family or friends to help out: they are older too, and did not or could not physically help out. My family might have come around to help with housework or other chores in the beginning, except my father passed away ten days after the twins were born, and they were busy dealing with their grief. I had to deal with my own grief and handle the care of the twins for most of the time. My husband had to work. But this is when I noticed how being an older parent comes with advantages. What advantages? Let me tell you…
Emotional Stability
I was able to handle stress better. My experiences through life helped me deal with having the stress of being a new mom and dealing with a personal tragedy. I learned how to manage what was important and what could wait. I also found that being an older parent, I am far more patient with the daily life of the twins. When issues arise I find that I trust my judgement better, I am not afraid of making decisions. And the judgement from others, especially over the fact of whether I breastfed or not, didn’t phase me. The older parents I know didn’t seem to judge me as much for the way I did things as the younger ones seem to.
Simplicity
When the twins started eating solids, I found it fun to make their baby food and I do cook from scratch a lot. I’m not opposed to convenience, but I prefer to cook the same way I was brought up. The same goes with toys and such. Being an older parent, I have already learned that too much stuff is overstimulating and lessens the quality of life. Over my years I’ve made those blunders of owning too many clothes or shoes or handbags (as much as I love them) only to have to re-buy because fashion has changed. My home has gone through I don’t know how many redecorations because I was either bored with it, or I bought without really thinking it through. I didn’t invest forethought in my wardrobe or my home. Then there’s that point when you realize that you don’t actually need as much as you think. The same is true with the twins. We buy a minimum of toys and I find that we were correct in doing so. I mean seriously, what is wrong with a box? My twins have toys, but prefer to play with my pots and pans or cooking utensils, or the shoe box that my husband’s sneakers came in. I am also not opposed to or offended by getting things from others whose children have outgrown them just because it’s not brand new. They will not remember if their first tricycle is used and I keep my costs at a minimum. And that brings me to my next point.
Financially
Being older is a definite financial advantage. We are further along in life, house being almost paid for, jobs are secure, retirement is set, savings and college funds are stable. Our debt is less than our younger counterparts because we’ve had the time to handle it without worrying about it affecting children. While we are in a better position to financially support our children, we are also wiser in the decisions we make for them.
Technology
I grew up with corded phones, no air conditioning in the house, and no cable TV or computers. I myself love technology; however, it definitely is not something that rules my every waking moment, nor my children’s. My husband does not have a cell phone, I have one and do not use it. We do not have cable TV, my kids don’t know, or need to know who the latest Disney star is.
My twins do have NOOKs, but they are limited to books, flash cards and a couple movies. They are allowed to use them once a week, if that. I do believe they need to get used to technology, it is the way of the world, but it does not have to be their only world. I find that younger parents cannot get along without their technology. I own a laptop computer for school (yes, I’m in college) and an iPad, but it has it’s limited place in our lives.
Body Image
I find that while I lost most of my baby weight, I do struggle with losing that last 10 pounds. However, I am not obsessed with it. I read about so many young mothers struggling to lose their baby weight and how they need to get back to their pre-baby body. Why? It appears to be a very self-absorbed issue, and while I know it is not all younger moms, it does seem to be a lot. I am not saying as an older mother I look like a slug or a slob, because I don’t. I just think that as older moms, we are more understanding of what our bodies went through and our self image is not solely based on body image.
Written by Nancy Kuzniar
