With the additional challenges that come with twin parenthood, there’s a higher chance of developing postpartum anxiety. Here’s what to know about PPA with twins and what real twin parents experienced.
If you’re expecting twins, recently gave birth to twins, or you’re somewhere in the first few years of twin parenthood, it’s important to understand the symptoms of postpartum anxiety.
What to know about postpartum anxiety with twins?
Postpartum anxiety is a consistent and constant form of anxiety that can show up during pregnancy or within the first year after having a baby.
Around 1 in 5 new mothers and 1 in 10 parenting partners experience PPA. But since twin parents are more likely to experience complications and additional parenting hurdles in the early months and years, those statistics shoot up even more.
How can you tell if you have postpartum anxiety as a twin parent?
Since birthing and raising two babies at once can be inherently more challenging, you may be wondering how you can tell if you’re actually experiencing postpartum anxiety or regular stressors of early parenthood.
Some of the most common symptoms of postpartum anxiety can involve:
- Racing thoughts
- A consistent sense of doom and worry
- Feeling dizzy, nauseous, a tightening chest, or like your heart is pounding
- Feeling like you have to constantly make sure your baby is okay or that there could be something wrong
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But we also wanted to hear from real twin parents who’ve been there, so we recently asked twin parents:
Twin parents who experienced postpartum anxiety (PPA), what did it feel like for you and what made you feel supported?
And here’s what they shared:
Being constantly on edge
“It was ALWAYS being on edge. Not sleeping so I could watch them sleep and make sure they didn’t stop breathing or choke on spit up. Being scared anytime anyone held them, especially over a hard surface or carrying them up/down the steps.
The thing that helped me the most was when people helped and asked me HOW I wanted something done. Or, taking over tasks that they thought were silly – watching them as they slept so I could sleep. Also, going to a moms group and hearing others experiences helped a lot. A multiples group was a godsend.” — Meg
Obsessing over the numbers
“PPA with twins after an extended NICU stay was a struggle to say the least. Once they moved out of our room obsessing over the monitor to an unhealthy degree, panicking with any sickness, obsessing about how much milk I could produce trying to make it work for two, afraid if I couldn’t make enough that they’d have to go back on feeding tubes and the list goes on.
Having a personal therapist appointment once a week and an online postpartum group therapy session once a week really helped. Talking about it and knowing I wasn’t alone, finding healthy ways to cope and working with my psychiatrist to get the right medications to support me on board were key to surviving the first year for me.” — Emily
Always worrying about one of the twins
“It looked like me thinking one twin had something seriously wrong with him. Only one. I would think about it 24/7. I would wake up in a panic about it. I would beg my husband (at the time) to take me to the ER so they could sedate me. It was SO bad. I would scream and cry and wish more than anything I’d never chosen to have “one more kid.” God, I wouldn’t go back to that time for all the money in the world.
My husband was falling into his own deep depression at the time and drinking himself into oblivion. If it weren’t for my mom (who lives next door), I wouldn’t have made it. Seriously, I had dark, dark thoughts during that time. My boys are now almost 8 and man, life is good. Separated when they were 11 months old and divorced a year later. I have my own home, my kids are healthy and I have a lovely new man. It gets better, trust me.” — Gail
Feeling like I could never relax and having to be in control at all times
“For me, PPA felt like constantly having something to worry about. My twins had spent 3 months in the NICU, and then once they were out we had tons of specialized follow-up doctor appointments all the time. I felt like I was constantly in high-stress situations and being given specialized instructions for how to take care of my babies.
Then there was the pumping and numbers side of things. There was a period in the first 4 – 5 months where I was obsessively tracking my breastmilk output. And since my babies were both on feeding tubes and learning how to take feeds by mouth, there was the obsessive tracking of how much milk they were taking in from their bottles. Sticking to a tight schedule was another thing I felt like I had a death grip on. I was constantly worried that if we got off track with a single nap or feed that it would spiral out of control. I eventually began therapy when they were two years old, but I wish I would have sought mental health support sooner because I was carrying so much inside.” — Paige
How to get support if you think you or your twin parenting partner has postpartum anxiety?
If you feel like you or your parenting partner is in immediate danger, be sure to seek medical attention right away or call 911.
If it’s not an immediate emergency, try to breathe deeply and talk through how you’re feeling. Then make a plan to talk to a licensed therapist so that you can get support as soon as possible. Mental health challenges with twin parenting are not your fault, and you’re not alone. Help is available.
Here are some great resources to look for a therapist or additional mental health support:
- Psychology Today (you can filter searches for a therapist based on a variety of criteria)
- Perinatal Mental Health Provider Directory (run by Postpartum Support International)
- Phoenix Health (an online US-based therapy practice that specializes in perinatal therapy)
- The Motherhood Center of New York (support for new and expecting moms/birthing people, US-based)
Want to read more articles about mental health for twin parents? Check these out too:
- How Do You Know It’s Time to See a Therapist?
- Postpartum Mood Disorder Resources
- Postpartum Anxiety is a Bitch
- How to Curb Your Mom Rage or Dad Rage as a Twin Parent
