The Chaos and Beauty of Twin Mum Life

New to twin parenthood and feeling overwhelmed by the chaos? You’re not alone! Twin mum Anna shares her honesty about those first few months of twin mum life.

Dear new twin mum,

Congratulations on your 1 in 250 twin miracle.

No doubt you’re in the trenches at the moment, and it probably seems like more of a curse than a miracle.

I can sympathise because I was there nine months ago.

Two times the sleep deprivation, trying to establish two latches, trying to burp two babies, all the washing. And the dirty nappies.

Buying two of everything…did the twin selection gods mistakenly think we were rich?

The reality is: it’s so hard, like indescribably hard. Those first four months were the hardest for us.

Like when you finally get them both to sleep and then one wakes the other and all you can do is shout “for F&*% sake” with rage.

Know more: How to Curb Your Mom Rage (or Dad Rage) as a Twin Parent

When everyone is looking at you with apologetic eyes like “I think they’re hungry again” even though you just finished feeding 10 minutes ago, and you start to wonder if you’ve even got enough milk for two.

When two simultaneous newborn cries shatter your heart into a million pieces because you can’t possibly comfort them both with your undivided attention, and you feel guilty for not splitting your time evenly.

When witching hours turn into witching marathons and nothing will settle the little ones.

When a shower alone and the water noise drowning out the sound of babies crying is the highlight of your day. You put your pajamas back on afterwards because you’re not up to going past the couch or the bed again today, or having visitors.

When the babies live in Zip Wondersuits day and night until they spoil them as you don’t have the capacity to re-dress two babies daily in all the cute matching outfits you bought whilst pregnant.

But it’s not like that forever…

When absolutely everything is a huge mission, just know that it can’t be like that forever. Soon they will sleep a little longer, feed a little less and be a little more settled.

So mark four months on the calendar, then write it off.

Dedicate that time to settling into your new normal, it’s no easy feat and survival is the aim of the game.

Go easy on yourself, set your expectations low…no, don’t even have expectations, accept all the help that’s offered, just do what you’ve got to do to get through.

Don’t worry about the outside world for now, you’ve got a lifetime of ‘double trouble’ comments at the mall ahead of you, and they can wait.

In time, you will finally have the mental clarity even amongst the chaos to realise that this truly is a beautiful and unique miracle.

With love and best wishes,

A nine-month-in-twin-mum

What I learned from early twin mum life…

Trust my girls. They know their little bodies and have a very strong will (they get it from me, sorry mom!). To this day, if they fight getting in their highchair, I don’t push it.

They’ll get in when they’re hungry and ready. Marie, who had a more severe aversion, still has to make up her mind that SHE wants to brush her teeth before she’ll consider it. I’m raising future leaders and independent women from the start!

Need some twin parent friends? Get the support you need with a Twiniversity Membership. Benefits include a monthly twin parent club meeting on Zoom, access to a private Facebook group just for twin parents, and a video library of twin parenting lessons. Visit Twiniversity.com/membership to join today!