Observations from my first three years as a twin mom, in no particular order:
- Baby led weaning is from the devil.
When my twins were born it had been four years since I had had a baby. Somewhere in those four years the world decided that the best way to feed a baby was to just hand him food and let him go to town. I watched videos, read articles, and became a baby led weaning convert. Then I actually tried it with my twins. There was food in every corner and crevice of the dining room, not to mention all over my twins. They found this amusing, but cleaning up after meals took seven years. And still, I always talked myself into trying it again at the next meal because let’s be honest, sitting down to spoon feed two babies also takes forever.
- Car seats are disgusting.
Have you ever taken your kids’ car seats out of the car and actually taken the seat covers off? It does require a hazmat suit, in case you were on the fence about that. I cannot fathom how Goldfish and fruit snacks that look like they have literally fossilized from the ice ages are still somehow stuck down in all the cracks of the seat. Car seats are the grossest things I’ve encountered since becoming a mom.
- You might lose your mind just a little.
The other day I forgot my son’s name. I know that you may be thinking that a lot of parents do that. But this was not just a second of forgetfulness or one of those mashups of the first syllable of all my kids’ names till I land on the right one. For a moment, I legitimately could not remember the name I had picked out for the human person I had given birth to. In fact, I forgot his name for long enough that I had to turn his sippy cup, which I was holding in my hand, so that I could read the name label on it and only then did I know what to call the poor child.
- The quiet one really has the upper hand.
It may seem like they are getting walked all over, but just give it time. One day you’ll turn around and that quiet, seemingly innocent one will have her brother pinned down, smugly grinning while he cries for help.
- They have a secret call.
Just listen for it if you haven’t picked up on it. They have a way of signaling each other. We called our twins the velociraptors for the longest time because that’s exactly what their call sounded like. One twin would give the call and the other, wherever he was at, would drop everything and take off to respond to the call.
11 Twin Mom Observations from the First 3 Years
- Sometimes you forget which one is which.
Even if they don’t look anything alike, even if they are different genders. Which is particularly alarming when you are changing diapers and have the shock of seeing a body part you didn’t expect to see, because you thought you were changing the other twin. Sometimes you just forget which one you have on your hip.
- You are massively outnumbered.
This isn’t just a matter of actual logistics and numbers. They have Twin Power on their side, which includes a special form of telepathy, which especially works in their favor when they are interested in wreaking havoc, embarrassing you in front of the entire supermarket, or blessing you with a double-hitter diaper changing party. They just somehow know when it’s time to shake things up a little, and they communicate effortlessly and execute their plan flawlessly.
- High chairs are almost as gross as car seats.
You’re better off — just to go ahead and take the cover off. Even when you think you have the high chair cleaned, you will find yourself on the floor one day picking up cereal, and will look up at the underside of the high chair and almost pass out from the gross, sticky globs of partially digested foods that have been hiding out there since who knows when.
- Your twins are a phenomenon.
Just go ahead and get used to it, in fact, you might as make some money off of it, because people will forget everything their mamas told them about common courtesy and will flock to your twins to behold their magical existence. Obviously, we already know they’re pretty special, but it gets a little overwhelming when the rest of the world can’t keep their fascination at bay.
- They really do have a bond.
At first, you may wonder at their seeming apathy towards each other, but give it time. You’ll see, there is something pretty amazing about the natural bond between two people who’ve been together since the beginning of their existence.
- You’re pretty amazing yourself.
You somehow kept two babies alive at the same time. You operated under an unbelievable amount of sleep deprivation. Your body was stretched and pushed and maxed out and still, you kept going — and look how far you’ve come. Sure, you’re not perfect, and you may have to send that kid to therapy once you remember what his name is. But at the end of the day, you are stronger than you ever thought you could be, and that is pretty amazing!
Natalie Downey is a stay at home mom to six rambunctious but lovable kids. Her two-year-old boy/girl twins were the surprise of her life and keep her on her toes. She gets by with lots of help from coffee and yoga and enjoys literature, spontaneous dance parties with her kids, and playing guitar.