7 Tips to Take the Fear Out of Leaving the House With Twins

Feeling overwhelmed about leaving the house with twins? Whether they’re infants, wild toddlers, or kid twins, here are 7 tips to make leaving the house feel less anxiety-inducing!

The fear of leaving the house with twins is real—whether you’re alone or have helping hands. 

So first of all, let’s normalize that it’s okay to feel extra stressed. You’re handling two babies or little kiddos the same exact age, after all. And that’s a unique kind of challenge. (One you can absolutely handle with the right mindset and tools though!)

In this article, we share a few tips that may help you feel more equipped for leaving the house with twins. From mindset strategies to proactive measures to practical in-the-moment game plans, we’ve got you covered. 

Your fears and anxieties won’t disappear overnight, but we hope what you read here makes you feel a little less alone and a little more confident. 

Stressing out with your infant twins? Let us help! Learn what to expect in the first year with twins, including tips, tricks, and advice from real twin parents who have been there. Click here to learn more… and while you’re at it, check out our twin parent coaching services and Twiniversity shop!

First, you’re not the only one who feels this fear:

Do any of these sound like they were picked from your brain?

We recently asked our twin parent community…

What makes you most anxious about leaving the house alone with your twins?

And here’s what they had to say:

“Getting the damn stroller put together! No, but my girls are 8 months now and it has always been easy to take them walking in the stroller from the house. They used to sleep and now they love looking around. I also started taking them to shops, no big deal. I do have to make it short cause I only feed them at home if I’m by myself.” — Stijnie

“If I am by myself it’s feeding them both!! They are 6 months, 4.5 adjusted, and still eat every 3 hours. So outings are never long enough to be gone that long.” — Melissa

“Mine are 6 weeks and leaving the house isn’t too bad for things like the school run, but anything longer and the anxiety about feeding them both kicks in. If I am with someone else it’s ok, but I don’t feel confident enough on my own yet to do that.” — Francesca

“Honestly, my wild toddler. It’s much harder to chase him with a huge stroller and two crying babies in tow! So… we don’t go out much.” — Brianna

More fears…

“In the beginning, everything!!! Physically, I was very unwell after having them, and trying to feed them or change them or just hold them because they hated their car seats and strollers for so long. Now we’re at 9 months, I’m stronger and can baby wear both of them! Or they can be in a stroller and I can pass them some snacks! Life is getting soooo good again!!!! — Elizabeth

“Leaving when they were babies wasn’t a huge problem. As long as they are buckled in a car seat or stroller, we were good. But as soon as they started walking and getting fussy being cooped up, we really couldn’t go anywhere without 3 adults and it needed to be a fenced-in space. So we haven’t left the house much over the last 2 years. My boys are 4, 2, and 2. Turning 3 and 5 in a month. We literally went to a playground for the very first time two weeks ago because they have just sort of began to listen. It was just my partner and I and we were terrified. But it was worth it. The boys were so happy.” — Nicole

“Staying safe of harm that could be caused by others (traffic, being taken,…) – 8 years old.” — Mine

“Potty training era.” — Ashley

“2.5 year-olds running away in opposite directions into a dangerous area (road, parking lot, etc).” – Nikki

Whether you’re stressing over excursions with newborn twins or taking your toddler twins out and about, here are some practical ways to make leaving the house with twins more doable.

7 strategies for reducing your fears of being out with the twins

Tip 1: Give yourself lots of time

When you’re on somewhat of a tight schedule due to feeding times or naps, you can easily feel extra anxious about getting off schedule. 

So if you are on a schedule or you’re going to an appointment or something where being timely is important, pack the car with all the extra essentials the night before or plenty of time in advance. 

This will help reduce the chances of feeling super rushed and urgent in the moment. 

Tip 2: Have safety items and tracking devices packed

A very common fear of leaving the house with twins is that you will lose one of them. 

Helpful ways you can tackle this fear are:

• Use a tracking device (like an Apple Air Tag). You can put these inside of a cute watch, shoes, pockets, or even clip them onto clothing! We’ve been using these with our twins since they were 2, and they’re super helpful for having peace of mind.
• Consider using a kid-friendly harness. People have lots of thoughts on kid leashes, but safety is always the most important. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. If you have more littles besides your twins, a harness can be really helpful!

Having these extra safety measures in place can be a game-changer for reducing your anxiety about being out alone with your twinnies. 

Tip 3: Talk to a therapist

Sometimes our fears with our own children are rooted in past experiences that were traumatic in some way. Maybe it was something that happened to you as a child (like you got lost in a store or something). Or perhaps you had some scary moments in the early days with your twinnies, and those have stuck with you. 

For example, my twinnies had a 3-month NICU journey, and my Twin A had many instances of his heart rate dropping and choking while feeding. Later down the road, this trauma resurfaced when my twinnies were 2 and I would try to take them to the pool by myself. 

I had tons of anxiety around them choking on the pool water and even drowning. This was so strange to me because I was actually a competitive swimmer myself since I was 4-years-old and I can’t ever remember being afraid of water. 

Working with a therapist really helped me work through this fear and neutralize it so that I could feel less anxious in those settings with my twins. 

Tip 4: Get an extra set of hands

If you’re in a situation where your parenting partner or spouse can’t be with you because of work or other obligations, that doesn’t always mean you have to brave leaving the house with twins alone. 

Yes, even if your village is small and family is far away! The summer before I started my twins in part-time daycare, I hired a babysitter from Care.com to help accompany me on outings like the kids’ gymnastics class and excursions to a local farm. 

It wasn’t all that expensive, and having another adult alongside of me made the experience so much more enjoyable. 

If money is tight right now (I know gas prices are wild right now), don’t forget about teenagers and folks who are wanting to do community service. I used to be a high school teacher, and there are tons of high school age students who need volunteer hours for various clubs and honors or who are willing to help out at lower rates for the sake of experience. 

Put a call-out in your local moms Facebook community or ask around your neighborhood to see if there are any teenagers who can help you out for a few hours here and there as needed!

It is absolutely worth the investment (if it’s important to you to be able to get out of the house). 

Tip 5: Set clear expectations (with toddler or kid twinnies)

When I began taking my twins to the playground for the first time alone, I made sure to set clear expectations. (This was after having the first time out not go so well!) We established 4 rules for the playground:

• We all stay together (around the same equipment)
• No running away (similar to the first rule but still needs to be said lol)
• When it’s time to leave, it’s time to leave (I give them 3 warnings ahead of time)
• Have fun

I would have them recite these rules before getting out of their car seat each time. The first time my Twin A tried to run in the opposite direction, we went right back to the car and went home. This way, he knew that the rules were serious, and I explained to him that the rules help keep us safe. The next time we tried the playground again, he didn’t try to run away.

I’m not saying it’s gone perfectly every time since then, but don’t underestimate the power of talking through the expectations ahead of time with your twins!

Tip 6: Mentally prepare yourself ahead of time

Our expectations and the stories running through our mind play a huge role in how we feel doing things with our twins moment to moment. 

As overwhelming as it can feel, getting out of the house with your twinnies can be fun and empowering too!

So here are some ways you can rewire your brain to reframe the excursion you’re about to take:

• Imagine the scenario in your head ahead of time. This will help you mentally and energetically connect to how you want to feel instead of how you don’t want to feel.
• Do an EFT tapping sequence to calm your nervous system ahead of time. Our little can sense our emotional states. And sometimes our wonky energy can heighten their emotions too. EFT can help you check in with your own energetic state and rewire your emotions in the moment.

EFT involves gentle tapping on acupressure points while stating short phrases/affirmations out loud to yourself. This can help you decrease feelings of anxiety ahead of a trip with your twins.

A tapping sequence for leaving the house with twins may sound something like this:

Karate chop point:

• Even though I’m feeling anxious about leaving the house with my twins, I’m recognizing that I’m telling myself a story. A story that the worst case scenario is going to happen. I’m noticing these fears now. I honor them for bringing my attention to something important. And I’m choosing to tell myself a more empowering story. And I deeply and completely accept myself. 

Other tapping points:

• All this anxiety and fear (top of head, crown)
• About leaving the house with twins (eyebrow point)
• It feels like it’s not worth it to go (side of eye)
• I’m letting myself feel these feelings (under eye)
• And I’m choosing to release them (under nose)
• Because the truth is I can handle this (under chin)
• I can be proactive before leaving the house (collar bone)
• I have done scarier things before (under your arm)
• And I can take steps to make leaving the house feel less scary (top of head, crown)
• So that’s the new story I’m sticking with (eyebrow point)
• I am ready for this experience, I’m prepared (side of eye)
• And now it’s time to enjoy being out and about with my twins (under eye)
• I’m looking forward to this excursion  (under chin)
• We are going to have a good time (collar bone)
• I’m looking forward to this excursion (under your arm)
• And if something goes south, I’m prepared to handle it. I’ve got this. (top of head, crown)

Note: The point of this tapping sequence isn’t to ignore the anxiety. It’s to acknowledge how you’re feeling, let the emotions pass through you, and tune into a new emotion that’s attached to a different belief about leaving the house. 

Tip 7 – Plan for the “things went south” scenarios

If you’re the type of person who thinks of the worst-case scenario, don’t beat yourself up about it, but also don’t linger there. 

If you feel stuck in those thought loops, then take some sort of action so that if something were to go wrong, you know what to do in the moment. This can help you stop focusing so much on the danger itself and instead feel more confident in knowing that you have a backup plan.

Here are some leaving the house with twins moments gone wrong. If it helps, think through what you would do in each of these scenarios.

We asked twin parents…

What was the scariest moment you’ve ever had while out and about with your twins alone?

And here’s what they had to say:

“When they got lost in the bushes next to a playground in Munich. My mother had said: let them go … We’ll find them anyway. But it wasn’t that easy.” — Marion

“We had gone to Salt Lake City and had just come out of Costco. I was trying to get them in their car seats and had one still in the shopping cart and some guy walked up to the cart and grabbed it and tried to take off. I pulled my son out of the cart so fast and jumped in the car and locked it until the guy left.” — Kimber

“It was a false alarm, and I wasn’t alone, but had a moment in London at one of the big greens – they were both running around and suddenly I realize I don’t see one of them. Turns out, she was laying down about 30ft away, on the other side of my husband’s 13 year-old cousin. Meanwhile ‘Twin B’ was in constant motion and did make a move to exit the green at one point.” — Jennifer

“When I was out and about with the twins by myself when they were toddlers and they ran off on opposite directions. Judge all you want, but I started using a harness for them for a while after that.” — Melissa

“My boys figured out how to work together… s

While strapped in a double umbrella stroller they figured out how to get on their feet & run away from me at a green house… and then trip on a hose. I was terrified of head injury, but they were just laughing away tangled up on The ground.. last time I used that stroller…” — Julie

More scary moments…

“Literally just anytime I can’t keep them contained in a wagon or something. They give each other this creepy twin special look and bolt in opposite directions laughing hysterically.” – Jahala

“Almost anytime when they run different directions…. especially near a street/ populated area.” — Christy

“One of my twins ran and hid while I was tending to the other one. She found it funny when I couldn’t find her. My heart dropped!” – Crysta

“Walking into a hotel for a birthday party. I let go of their hand once we were inside to get a better hold on the gift box and they both simultaneously took off running like they’d been waiting their whole lives to do this. One towards the restaurant, one towards the big fountain, I chose to chase fountain boy first, grabbed him just before he went full launch into the water, then raced back to the buffet where a waitress was waiting with the other boy. Even at 2, those little bubbles gets were fast!” — Christy

“Went shopping to the second floor of a large department store with two 10-month-olds in a double stroller who just started walking. They both climbed out and went in opposite directions. My heart san as I thought about the nearby escalator. I ran in that direction to find one nearby playing on a stack of rugs which were for sale. Grabbed her, and took off in the other direction to find the other one had pulled all the button cards she could reach off a rack in the sewing department. I think that’s when I decided it was babysitter time!” — Terri

“As a grandma of identical twin girls, I had them at the Air and Space Museum at the Smithsonian when they were about three years old. Each had one of my hands in a very busy section of the museum and somehow one of them got through to the other side of a barrier. I couldn’t let go of either hand in that very crowded space and was inwardly panicked until I talked the one back through to my side. People were streaming past in opposite directions of the barrier. All is well. They are beautiful seniors in HS now and headed to UVA in the Fall.” – Marilyn

Want to read more about what to do when your with twins alone and safely leaving the house? Check out these articles too!

• How to Get Out the Door With Twins in 10 Easy Steps
• How to Take Care of Twins Alone: Conquer These Tasks Solo With Twins
• Taking Baby Steps to Get out of the House With Twins

Latest Twiniversity Articles