When I started gathering opinions and thoughts from my friends to learn the top expecting parent complaints, the predominant opinions were from the women. This is not surprising, seeing as they are the ones carrying the little ones. As I compiled the list I was reminded of the horrible pregnancy I had the second time around. But as all wonderful things in life, once the good pops out you forget the pain.
Listed below are the top reoccurring complaints you'll hear from an expecting parent of twins and some tips on how to fix what ails ya!
- Ligament pain (including lower back and hip pain) – The pain, especially later in the pregnancy, can get excruciating in the pelvic area as the body starts shifting. Resting, stretching, moving around, and a warm bath can help. Laying on her back and rocking side to side helped one mother.
- Not being able to breathe – Those babies just want to stretch out and get cozy in the womb! This can put pressure everywhere. Mostly trying to get a nice, big, deep breath is the challenge. Just stretch, stretch, and more stretch. Don’t get panicked; this feeling is totally normal, so find a position or stretch that helps you get that deep breath.
- Throwing up/nausea – This can vary from just the beginning trimester to every day for the entire pregnancy. Mini meals, ginger tea and chews, acupressure, and trying not to let your belly get too hungry will help.
- Sensitivity to smells – My husband had to cook bacon outside on his grill during my first pregnancy. If he was cooking it, it would wake me up and send me running to the bathroom. Avoid those smells that set you off and keep something with you that smells sweet and pleasant.
- Heartburn – Oh, the heartburn! Thick drinks worked well for me, especially milk and milkshakes. Tums, constantly eating little snacks like crackers, and staying hydrated also helped. Avoid acidic and spicy foods too. Make sure you're upright for at least 30 minutes after eating and try not to eat a few hours before bedtime (sleeping on an incline will also help).
- Unprepared for the crazy changes your body goes through – I had NO idea how many changes my body would go through. Swelling from head to toe, shape changes to hips and breasts, the belly skin that doesn’t bounce back. Find a friend who's been there to ask all your burning questions, or read a book that is brutally honest.
- Not being able to sit, walk, lay down comfortably – I don’t know how many times I would start rocking side to side until I had enough momentum to literally fling myself out of bed. Or how many countless times I just stayed put until someone walked by to help me stand up. Sit up high so it’s easier to get up. Use pillows and lots of them. Put one under your belly, butt, between your legs and anywhere else you can find comfort.
- Constant big belly comments – Get used to them. Strangers will ask you, friends will need to be reminded, family will comment too. They don’t mean to be rude so just get yourself ready that the big belly comments will be coming daily.
- Headaches – Stay hydrated, very hydrated. 1 gallon of water per day for a twin pregnancy is the minimum recommended intake, which also helps avoid preterm labor.
- Swelling – I swelled everywhere, but my feet were actually painful at times. It hurt to walk on them, as if they were totally bruised on top and bottom. Keep your feet up above your heart to help with blood flow, soak them, and wear comfortable shoes. If the swelling is sudden and excessive, call your doctor because it could be a sign of preeclampsia.
- Not able to have sex – For one of many reasons, ranging from the awkwardness of the belly or feeling like he would hurt the baby. Get over it buddy, because once those babies pop out it’s going to be far and few between that you get the lovin’ you want.
- Mom's mood swings – Men said they couldn’t keep up with them at times. HA! Welcome to the world of women. It gets better, so just make her happy and take good care of her. Remember she is growing not one but TWO humans! You can’t do that, and trust us all when we say it is exhausting work.
- Mom's cravings – Again just keep up with the changes. Go with it and join in!
A few other issues that both sides can agree on are:
- The shock factor. OMG TWO!
- What to expect: TWO!
Having two just makes you have to think more about the decisions you are faced with. Use that amazing support system you have built over your life. Rely on friends and family to help. Join parents of multiples groups; online or face to face.
But most importantly, be open and honest with your partner. Express what’s going on, emotionally and physically. Talk about all the wonderful ways you want to raise your babies together and do it! Enjoy the ride and the quiet because this WILL go by fast… and then the beautiful chaos begins!
Kerry Bergeman is the founder and the mastermind behind New2Two.com – A peek at my life as a Mother of fraternal AND identical twins! Kerry is a full-time stay at home mother of six year old fraternal twin girls and one year old identical twin girls. She also teaches part-time at the local community college and runs Mommies of Multiples on Facebook (a group dedicated to helping moms of multiples with their daily questions and concerns). Her blog, New2Two is about life with twins, dealing with infertility, raising awareness for bully prevention and the challenges of having a daughter with a severe intolerance to dairy. What does she do on her time off? She is the Brand Ambassador of the Twingaroo twin carrier – the first and only ergonomic twin carrier that features a built in diaper bag (yes, that’s her on the box)! She sells Usborne Books to help encourage all to read! She’s bringing the book back one kid at a time! Click here to read more articles by Kerry on Twiniversity.
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Are you a new twin parent? Check out Natalie Diaz’s new book “What To Do When You’re Having Two: The Twin Survival Guide From Pregnancy Through the First Year”, available in stores now!
The rate of twin births has risen 79 percent over the last three decades, and continues to increase. A mom of fraternal twins and a national guru on having two, Natalie Diaz launched Twiniversity, a supportive website with advice from the twin-trenches.
What to Do When You’re Having Two is the definitive how-to guide to parenting twins, covering how to make a Birth Plan checklist, sticking to one sleep schedule, managing double-duty breastfeeding, stocking up on all the necessary gear, building one-on-one relationships with each child, and more.
Accessible and informative, What to Do When You’re Having Two is the must-have manual for all parents of twins.
Click here for info on our expecting and new twin parent classes in New York City, Chicago, and online!
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Join our FREE forums and connect with parents of multiples all over the WORLD! Visithttps://www.twiniversity.com/join-
Whether you’re a twin parent in the big city surrounded by scores of resources, or a triplet parent out in the country with no one around for miles — our multiples parenting forums are for YOU! Sign up for FREE and connect with people who are just like you — parents of multiples looking for advice, parenting tips, or even just people to chat with who will understand what you’re going through. Our forums are open to people all over the world and we offer scads of specialty rooms to find others who are going through the exact same thing as you. Check it out today!
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