Last updated on February 13th, 2024 at 12:58 pm
A MoM Recently Asked:
Now that my twins are no longer newborns (5 months), I’m getting a lot of requests for people wanting to visit. This is so nice that everyone wants to meet them, but taking care of 5-month-old twins is still so hard. I find that most of the visitors seem to want to sit down and just hang out and chat like a regular visit. I find myself so stressed out getting ready for people coming over (cleaning, getting snacks and drinks to offer, etc.) and then while they are here I am trying to be polite and give them attention but it’s so hard to do while taking care of the babies. Then a couple hours have gone by and I have fallen behind in bottle prep or diaper changes, etc. I love the people who come to help and don’t need my attention but those are few and far between. I think it’s nice that people want to see the babies, but these visits loom over me. What do I do?
Here’s What Our Twiniversity Fans Had to Say:
Make it known that all who enter are put to work. Whether they’re just holding a fussy baby or doing diaper duty. And don’t worry about prepping for visitors, if they want to visit you and the babies they won’t mind the clutter that comes with two new ones.
∼ SHM
I would let people come over. You need some adult interaction. Most people could care less if you clean house prior to the visit.
∼ JY
Put. Them. To. Work. No one gets a free visit. Hand them a baby, or a dirty bottle, or a diaper pail that needs changing. There’s a price for being in the presence of such cuteness.
∼ DM
I told visitors their ticket through the door was food (half jokingly). The house was as it was. The people visiting were friends and family, so they weren’t exactly “guests”. I don’t tolerate judgement in my home, so I just didn’t welcome anyone who would offer negativity. If I needed help with anything, I would simply ask.
∼ AD
When we had visitors, they would hold the babies and help feed. While they visited, I would use that chance to wash the dishes or bottles or even go take a shower! Don’t feel obligated to have to entertain your visitors or even worry about tidying up.
∼ JHPB
Don’t worry about your house or offering snacks and drinks. If guests don’t come with food and expect you to serve them with twins and judge the cleanliness of your house, you probably don’t need them around!
∼ LBF
Be honest with people “I’d love to see you but while you’re here I’d love a hand with some jobs too. Would that be okay?” I’m one of the last in my friendship group to have kids and it’ll be twins so I understand from both side and trust me. Whenever I went to someone’s place I wanted to help however I could, even just holding a baby while someone has a shower.
∼ NC
I fell into this trap too. Memorize the words: we will let you know when we are ready for company. Or if you are bolder than I am, give them the expectation that they are coming to help.
∼ CE
There are no guests, only helpers. I have 5 month old twins and if they can’t help with chores or the babies, they’re not welcome. Everyone’s been more than thrilled to bring food, empty a dishwasher, change a diaper or feed a baby. Surround yourself with those that are useful. Everyone else can stay home.
∼ AP
Do not have company until you are ready. Put a list of chores on the front door. Entry means picking a chore or two (bring meals, mow lawn, run dish washer, fold laundry, etc.) Everyone wants to help but they need to be told what would be helpful. Most of all, rest and heal and enjoy the babies.
∼ DB
If people want to visit to see the babies don’t entertain them with food. I’d say “Come after lunch” or “Come before dinner” and “Don’t mind the fact my house looks like a bomb hit it”. You have to just stop caring.
∼ PFM
Limit the number of visitors. Choose 1 or 2 days a week where someone can come visit you, but give them a chore to do for you while they’re visiting.
∼ SF
We did a meet the baby party at my parents when we were ready. That way everyone came saw and the left. Also I have no shame in saying if you are coming over can you take trash out or vacuum or entertain kids so I can shower. In most cases they are there to see the kids so take advantage of a free babysitter and shower or whatever. But at the end of the day if it’s stresses u out then it’s probably isn’t a good time to have visitors. When u stress the babies feel that stress.
∼ CM
Drop your standards. I don’t clean my house for guests at all anymore. Or make snacks. Or even pay attention to what people are saying to me. I just smile and nod and keep changing my diapers and chasing babies and wiping noses. Most are also moms who understand fragmented conversation.
∼ ST
Sometimes I would offer to bring the babies to visit at their place. Getting out of the house with twin babies is no small task either but the fresh air and change of scenery is a good thing, and then the duration of the visit is kept reasonable. “We better get going, it will soon be nap time.”
∼ AG
