Last updated on September 28th, 2021 at 01:56 pm
Parenthood is filed with surprises. Sometimes the things we say to our kids shock us and surprise us the most. We recently asked our Twiniversity fans to tell us the most shocking things they have said to their kids. Check out what they had to say!
– “Stop licking me.”
“Get your penis off your brother.”
“Why are you always so loud?” ∼ JN
– “Stop trying to touch your brothers poop” They are 11 months old and have decided they want to keep each other company while they get their diapers changed. ∼ KMA
– “Yes, you have to wear pants.” ∼ HS
– “No pacifier is worth kicking your sister in the face for.”
“Hold still! You have snot and food up your nose.”
“Please don’t play in your vomit. Please don’t eat your vomit.” and my personal favorite is “Books and flash cards are for reading, not eating.” ∼ PA
– “Don’t use your sister as a step stool!”
“The dog’s bowl is not your 24/7 snack station”
“We don’t lick *insert random object that is super gross, usually shoes, here*” ∼ KH
– “You can’t touch your brother’s penis, you can only touch your own.”
“Fussy boys go to the pack and play” (we have a ‘time out’ pack and play)
“Keep your pants on!”
“When will you obey? First time, every time” (I wish!) ∼ TB
– “Why is there pee…on the floor, in the shower, on the toys in the bath, behind the toilet?”
“If you don’t want your brother to do it to you then don’t do it to him.”
“How many times do I have to ask before YELLING?”
“Fruit snacks are not breakfast.”
“How many crackers are in your mouth?”
“Don’t run, wrestle, jump, climb, fight, talk with food in your mouth.” ∼ BB
– “Do you want mom to get salty? Because mom’s about to get salty.” ∼ AT
– I’m constantly having to say “Quit picking your nose” and “You better not be eating a booger.” They’re 4 1/2 and I thought this stage of nose-picking would have subsided by now. ∼ AC
– “Mommy’s coffee! Hot!” – I only drink iced coffee and they sometimes help put the ice in. They understand “hot”, but not that I don’t want to share my drink, so all of mommy’s drinks are “hot coffee!”∼ MT
– I am always saying “That’s it! I’m taking an ad out in the classifieds saying “two for one sale!” Sometimes I say it’s a double deal, four for two deal and throw the dogs in. Why not sweeten the pot? ∼ KG
– “Why are you yelling in my butt?” They hug me from behind, bury their face in my rear, and start yelling. ∼ DN
– “Feet don’t go where your food goes”
“Please stop licking the shopping cart”
“Please don’t do that to the cat!” ∼ LS
– “Stop using my hair as a rope!”
“Cuidadito!” (Which means “careful” in Spanish, I think I say that word at least a thousand times a day) ∼ AR
– “Why are you trying to look at your sisters poop” and “I love you, but leave me alone”. ∼ HSM
– Mine are 2.5 years old and I have said things like “Don’t lick your brother” “Don’t climb on the dog” “No it’s not bubble time!” (For the millionth time in one day!) ∼ KM
– My girls are 19 months old and I continuously say “Go to the bath…to the bath…to the bath. Go to the bath, yes, to the bath.” **insert bed, car, living room, chair, etc. ∼ JG
– One of the strangest things I have ever said to my kids is “No, Mommy doesn’t have a penis.” ∼ HSM
– “Stop taking your clothes off”
“Stop farting on your brother”
“I love you … now go away” ∼ JLG
– “Please, don’t run with chopsticks up your nose.” ∼ NK
– The funniset thing I ever said to my kids was “You need an invitation to go to Chunky E. Cheese’s!” ∼ JE
– “Stop rubbing your green beans on your toes, please”
“Don’t lick the dog bowl” ∼ KS
– “ Agh, stop trying to put your hands where there is poop while I’m changing your diaper”. ∼ MR
– “Don’t put pennies in your belly button.” ∼ LR
– “Stop meowing” ∼ MC
– “Are you waiting for mean Mom to come out before you obey?!?!” ∼ JBG
– “Don’t put your crackers in your potty. It’s not a bowl.” ∼ CS
– “Don’t bite mommy, she’s not a chew toy”
“Yes, that’s your penis” ∼ RDB
– “Stop pinching your brother’s face.” “Put your hand fox away.” and “Stop touching my butt.” ∼ JT
– “Stop pooping in the bathtub!” ∼ AD
– “We bite food, not people” ∼ AO
– “Stop eating out of the garbage!” ∼ NCD
– “The couch is not a jungle gym”
“Put on some pants!” ∼ LO
– “Boogers are not delicious!” ∼ KC
Related Articles
Funniest Things People Say About Twins
