The Bittersweet Joy of Four-Year-Old Twins

Last updated on September 28th, 2021 at 01:40 pm

After the initial shock of hearing we were pregnant with not one but two babies, I began to feel like I was granted access to a very special, exclusive club. Suddenly everything was different from every other person I had known that had children. Our family was no exception as we were the first ones to have twins in quite a long time. While pregnant, I was able to have ultrasounds more regularly than a singleton pregnancy. I loved being able to show off how big our little ones were getting. We would hear remarks often that we had a lot of doctor appointments. I felt sad when I heard how few ultrasounds a singleton pregnancy receives versus multiples. I looked forward to those screenings with such anticipation. I had already experienced so many emotions up to this point; it was hard to imagine I had only begun the first step of an emotional journey that would alter me for the better.

My daughter was born first and she came out screaming. When they put her near me so I could see her, we locked eyes. I was overcome with so many feelings I didn’t know what else to do but cry. My son was born two minutes later and, for lack of a better description, they made a baby sandwich. A nurse held him almost on top of my daughter and they both were just staring at me. Suddenly my husband and I went from a couple to a family of four. All those weeks of swollen feet, being uncomfortable from my nose to my toes (even if I couldn’t see them), and the medical scares along the way were now worth every last minute.

Our next journey began at home when we were all trying to find our way in this new reality. Suddenly I had two babies who cried at the same time. How do I pick who gets soothed first? How do I feed two babies simultaneously? What happens if I can’t figure this out on my own? I was so tired I was barely feeding myself. Now someone put me in charge of feedings every ninety minutes. I would have a panic attack if I was left alone. I was so scared of hurting them, missing something, not getting the caretaking right –you name it. I was a hot mess. It was a roller coaster of emotions between knowing what you need to keep your body healthy and the stress of trying to meet the needs of these little people you have just met.

Fast forward a few years to the dreaded potty training. I had secretly feared this little endeavor even more than trying to rid my son and daughter of their pacifiers. There were so many emotions that came along with this milestone. We have a two story house so that was my first roadblock. When the time came to go the bathroom my children became polarizing magnets. The two of them would bounce off in different corners of the house, neither of which were bathrooms, and I was constantly in a state of fear; fear of what treasures awaited me, and fear of being the only mother to kindergartners who are not toilet trained.

It took us a long, long time to get both of our twins on board. But once my son and daughter had successfully been out of diapers for a few months it made me sad in a way. I no longer had babies. These two little people were growing up. Gone were the days when they solely relied on my husband and me for so many things. Part of me was super proud of their achievements while the other part of me was sad at how fast time was moving.

My twins turned four a few weeks ago. This birthday was a little different for me. The first birthday represented the fact that my husband and I made it. Sure, the kids did as well, but I had no doubt they would. But those first few months as a twin parent kicked our butts in ways I could have never imagined. Getting on the other side of that tunnel still leaves me awestruck. Their second birthday had more physical accomplishments – being able to walk, run, talk, starting to form an opinion. Their third birthday revolved around getting rid of pacifiers and diapers.

Their fourth birthday was bittersweet. For the first time, they wanted separate themes on their differently flavored cakes. They are able to tell us long stories they make up, which I hope to write down so I won’t forget these later on. Being four has given us little people who tell us almost every minute of the day how much they love us and our family. They can now tell us what gets them excited and adversely what really chaps their hide. And four has given a new appreciation for each other. I catch my twins staring at each other sometimes in a way that represents so much love and respect for each other it makes my heart burst. I can only imagine what our fifth birthday will bring.

Every day there are so many emotions that come with parenting my little tribe. Some feelings I anticipate while some catch me completely off guard. I feel so blessed to be part of this life I have been given.

Diana Coleman is a native Austinite and works in the wholesale electricity market as a market specialist. She is a married mom to 2.5-year-old boy/girl twins Chloe and Greyson. She enjoys organizing, reading, and watching movies while secretly fears potty training and getting her little ones to sleep in separate rooms.