In the thick of the early years, life as a twin parent can feel like sheer chaos. Inside this podcast episode summary, a twin dad 27 years into his journey, Charles Glassman, shares his greatest advice for new dads of twins.
There’s something specific that happens when you talk to a twin parent who’s on the other side of the chaos of the early years of twin parenthood.
After the blur of two babies at once, after NICU time, the feeding issues, and the toddler chaos. After the ups and downs of the teenage years.
Inside this Twiniversity Podcast Episode, twin dad Dr. Charles Glassman shares his birds-eye-view perspective of the twin parenting journey now that his twins are in their late 20s, running a business together in Miami—texting him about the decisions that come with building something from scratch.
Since we can’t have that zoomed out, hindsight vision when we’re going through the trials and tribulations of the early twin parenting years, Dr. Charles graciously shares his honest experience as a twin dad to identical twin girls (plus their 2 older brothers).
Watch the full episode below or keep reading for 6 life-changing pieces of advice for new dads of twins Charles shares within the episode.
The surprise that started his twin dad journey…
Charles and his wife already had two sons. They wanted one more child and were not-so-secretly hoping for a girl. But what they saw at their 16-week sonogram was the sight of two heads on the screen and a doctor stepping out of the room to say, quietly: “You’re having twins.”
After that, he went back to his office so pale that his colleagues thought something was wrong. Two weeks later, during an amniocentesis, the genetic counselor left a four-word voicemail: “You evened the score.” That’s how Charles learned he was having twin girls.
Lesson 1: The first year is its own thing
One of Charles’s twin daughters was born underweight and couldn’t regulate her temperature which landed her a weeklong NICU stay while her twin sister was already home. Those early months were a total blur for him and his wife. It wasn’t just from the exhaustion that comes with caring for newborns, but from the fog that descends when your family is split between home and the hospital and you are still trying to hold everything together.
It took weeks to figure out that the NICU twin’s relentless nighttime screaming was because they had switched to a slow-flow nipple to prevent colic and she simply was not getting enough to eat. Like so many parents–even those who already have older children—they didn’t know what they didn’t know.
And as Charles says: that is true for every twin parent, no matter how many singletons you had before. A diaper is not just a diaper. Two babies is not just a double version of one. The experience is categorically different, and there is no amount of prior parenting that fully prepares you.
Lesson 2: The grouping problem and why twins may push back on it
With four children, Charles and his wife organized their household in a way that made it all feel more doable, more survivable: the boys and then the girls. You take these two, I’ll take those two. Like zone defense, the practical solution, the thing you do when man-to-man coverage simply isn’t possible.
When they were old enough, his twin daughters let him know they did not in fact love being referred to as “the girls.”
This is one of those no-win twin parenting moments: some twins love being called “the twins.” Others resist it entirely. And you unfortunately won’t know which type you have until they tell you. The grouping you build as a survival mechanism can start to feel, from the inside, like a failure to see them as individuals.
The good news: it doesn’t have to be permanent. For those reading this who have much younger twinnies, it’s never too late to begin devoting intentional pockets of 1:1 time (even just 5 minutes goes a long way). What matters is that you keep trying to see each one for the unique individual they are, especially when you have identical twins.
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Lesson 3: The importance of checking your own emotional state as a parent
One of the most practical things Charles shares in this conversation is his go-to parenting technique when he felt himself getting triggered and the exact phrase that his children needed to hear: “Daddy’s going to take a time-out now.”
He would leave the room, let himself settle and come back and respond from a steady place instead of a flooded one. This form of modeling actually lets kids learn emotional regulation by watching the adults around them either lose it or choose differently. Taking a visible, named time-out is not a weakness, it’s one of the most powerful things a parent can do.
If the only parenting tip you take from this episode is that one, it will have been worth the listen!
Lesson 4: You may have parenting regrets but use those as lessons
Charles shares that if he would do anything differently, it would be this: more individual time with each twin. Not group time, not family time. Very intentional one-on-one, just dad and one daughter, without the other twin present time.
He does make time for that now with individual conversations, separate text threads, those moments of connection that are just between him and one of his girls.
But during the busy, logistically overwhelming years of raising four children? It didn’t happen as often as he wishes it had.
If you’re going through this struggle, know that you’re not failing. You can only do what you can do when you’re outnumbered, under-resourced, and doing the best you can.
What truly matters is your intention and your willingness to notice at any stage, that each twin is a whole separate person who deserves to be seen without the other one in the frame.
Lesson 5: Twin fatherhood deepens your personal growth
Even though Charles spent much of his life building a successful career as a physician, what sticks out the most to him about fatherhood has nothing to do with his kids’ milestones or achievements.
What has stuck with him after all these years as a twin dad is how parenting changed him.
It made him more fully human. It shaped how he moves through the world, how he responds to people, how he thinks about what it means to be present for someone who needs you.
He shares how his career as an integrative physician—challenging conventional medicine, seeing patients as full people rather than symptom sets—is inseparable from his experience of raising four children and watching how much you cannot control, how much you have to trust, and how much love can coexist with complete helplessness.
Stressing out with your infant twins? Let us help! Learn what to expect in the first year with twins, including tips, tricks, and advice from real twin parents who have been there. Click here to learn more… and while you’re at it, check out our twin parent coaching services and Twiniversity shop!
Lesson 6: The only constant is change
Through their chat, Natalie and Charles touch on such an important lesson: that the only constant in twin parenting is change. This can be both relieving and heartbreaking all at the same time.
What’s hard right now won’t always be hard, what feels impossible will become manageable. What looks like conflict will sometimes look, years later, like the foundation of a friendship.
All you can do is try not to get too comfortable and yet enjoy where you are. Because your twins (and other children if you have more) are going to keep leveling up, and you just have to be prepared to be there for the ride.
Have you taken your expecting twins class yet? We offer a great class on demand so you can take it on your own schedule! There are so many video modules covering everything from your twins’ baby registry to your first week at home with twins! Sign up today to get started before your twins arrive.
His twin daughters today
At the time of this article and podcast recording, Charles’s identical twin daughters are in their late 20s and living in Miami. They co-own Aperitif Collective, a sister-run creative agency specializing in branding, social media, and design for food & beverage, CPG, and lifestyle brands.
They also live together! And despite the occasional friction that comes with living together and working together, they have each other’s back. If it ever truly mattered, they would drop everything for the other.
Listen to the full episode
To hear Dr. Charles’s full story and all of his advice for new dads of twins (and twin parents in general), watch episode 242 of the Twiniversity Podcast! You can also check out his podcast The Coach MD.
Craving more inspiration and advice for new twin dads? Check out these article too!
- 6 Tips All Twin Dads Need to Know
- Top 10 Articles for Dads of Twins
- 13 Honest Struggles of Being a Twin Father
