We polled our Twiniversity community of parents of multiples and asked if they used donor eggs do they plan on telling their twinnies. Here’s what they had to say!
– We used donor eggs, and will definitely tell them. We have purchased age appropriate books that we read to our twins (they will be 2 in June). It is something that is openly discussed in our home and with our family and friends. I would hate to try to keep that a secret from them and have them find out later.
– I did use donor eggs (and sperm) and fully intend to tell my girls. Identity is such a huge part of growing up, I would never keep such an important part of their history from them. My sperm donor was an ID disclosure donor, so they can contact him when they turn 18 (and I have his complete profile if they want to learn about him sooner). This wasn’t an option with the egg donor, but I do have the profile that I can share with the girls.
– We used donor eggs. I don’t see any reason that using them will ever need to come up, but if it does, we’ll tackle that hurdle. They will know they’re IVF babies and how hard we worked for them! I just gave birth 3 days ago and the thought that they’re not my “DNA” has never even crossed my mind.
– Yes we used donor eggs and we will begin telling them when they are a little older. Got the book “The Pea That Was Me” to help. I work with kids and teenagers and feel very strongly that they need to know their story.
– Yes we used donor eggs and have told them. We started using age appropriate books when they were about 2 or 3. They are now 5 and I still read the books and talk to them about it to keep it current. For them and myself I think it’s very important they know. When they get older for medical reasons they will need to know. Not telling them could be detrimental to them. There are psychologist that specialize in this area and I consulted with one even before conceiving. So glad I did.
– My triplets are 8, and I have wrestled with this situation for a little while now. I always thought I’d be very open about using an egg donor. But a friend said that it might set my kids on a search for their biological mother, much like adopted children sometimes do. It definitely made me think twice. I’m happy to discuss our IVF journey, but still am unsure about the donor egg component.
– I will tell my kids because I want to send the message that infertility is nothing to be ashamed of.
– I’d rather they know from the beginning so I never have to wonder if it’s the right time to tell or if it’s too late and they’ll be mad”
– Yes we did donor eggs for our twins and we have already told them. They are 8 1/2 now.
I began telling them when they were around 2.
– I think kids need to know their story and they need to get it from their parents before they ever do a DNA test and end up learning the hard way. So many people are already doing Ancestry DNA and similar sites, I think it will only grow in popularity. I used donor/donor and my girls have known for a long time that I needed a doctor to help me have babies. We still visit the clinic from time to time to say hello.
– Yes, we used donor eggs and we plan to tell our twins when they are older! We are 14 weeks along.
– Yes and we will tell them. I actually found a book about IVF twins from an egg donor. They have everything out there.
– I did and I have that same question! I was wondering what to say when they ask about their nationalities!
– Yes we did and yes when the time is right they will be told.
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