What Should People Know About Having Twins?

carry my twins

We recently polled our Twiniversity fans and asked them “What is something you wish people knew about having twins?” Here’s what they had to say:

– That they don’t understand what it’s like unless they have multiples. Commenting, “I’m so sorry” is really irritating to hear. ∼ ASM

– I hate that everyone thinks because they are twins they have to look alike, be alike and like all the same things. They are two different people. Also when someone says that having “Irish twins” is like having twins. No, not at all. Just like I would never compare me having twins to having triplets or any other set of multiples. It’s not the same. ∼ SMW

– That it’s absolutely emotionally, mentally and physically draining. It’s amazing, wonderful, special, fun and an adventure, but also hard. I don’t think people truly get that there is NEVER downtime. ∼ CDM

– I wish they wouldn’t compare having twins to having two singletons close together. ∼ AP

– That multiples parents really appreciate your help at the beginning. But please don’t forget about us later. A surprise home cooked meal or a few hours of free babysitting, the stuff you helped us out with when they were babies are still needed and appreciated. ∼ GB

– If we look tired please don’t say wow you look tired. Also going out is a huge thing that usually takes a good two hours to get ready. ∼ MKH

What is something you wish people knew about having twins

– That basically everything you say to me is offensive. Don’t tell me you wish you had twins because then I’ll assume you think it’s just a novelty with matching clothes and rainbows and sunshine. And don’t tell me you feel sorry for me because twins are amazing and I wouldn’t trade this for the world. Just tell me they’re cute and move on. ∼ AP

– That if your twins are different sexes, they can’t be identical. I can’t believe how many people have asked if we are having identical twins after we say it’s boy/girl. Does anyone pay attention in science class anymore? ∼ CE

– Please let me run my errands. If you see I have twins, say hi and bye. It takes long enough to get out and about around nap times but constantly being stopped really gets annoying. ∼ IT

– It’s MORE than twice as hard as having one. A little patience, compassion, and help (one mom vs. two toddlers: I lose every time) would be greatly appreciated! ∼ CR

– It can be very lonely. When you only have one seems can go places and do things with more ease but with two extra work goes into everything even just ” grabbing cup of coffee with a friend”. Therefore many times limiting you to not do as much. ∼ NJ

– Not all twin births are c-sections. Please do not assume I had one. ∼ DW

– That when you say you are at your wits end and are about to lose it, for them to understand that it means you need someone to come over right away and help you! ∼ LBS

What is something you wish people knew about having twins

– That there is nothing normal about a twin pregnancy. I had my b/g twins unexpectedly at 34 weeks due to preeclampsia. I thought I had failed my babies by not carrying them long enough (they were in the NICU for 2 weeks). I quickly learned from other twin moms that twin pregnancies are a totally different animal. You can’t compare yourself to women pregnant with singletons. Singleton moms shouldn’t judge you, because they have no idea how difficult a twin pregnancy can be. ∼ SK

– I hate when singleton parents say , “I could never let my child cry” as if its the worst thing that could happen. I have 2 it’s inevitable that I can only console 1 at a time. ∼ AH

– Instead of asking “How can you tell them apart?” Ask “What are their differences?” That’s your real question. ∼ KB

– Only special parents get to have multiples. I truly believe not everyone can handle it and only the strong are gifted with this crazy adventure. ∼ RP

– We have ZERO downtime, like none, ever. if i am not cooking, i am cleaning or pulling them apart. ∼ JF

– You always kind of feel guilty for never being able to give your babies your FULL attention. I always felt bad that my babies never had me to themselves for any length of time. They are 6 now, and I still feel this guilt. ∼ AMR

– You may feel inadequate almost daily. Especially early on there will be moments when they both need you and you’ll have to chose whose needs are greater. The constant division of attention is exhausting. ∼ SD

– It’s NOT okay to walk right up and ask me personal questions and/or touch, poke, prod, compare, my twins. I didn’t have them for the viewing, judging, opinionated, pleasure of the general public. It would be considered so bizarre to walk up to any stranger and start asking them personal questions. ∼ TS

What is something you wish people knew about having twins

– That they aren’t always best friends. At least mine aren’t. People have said “well at least they can entertain each other.” If entertaining each other means sucker punches to the chin then yes, they entertain each other. ∼ DF

– A twin pregnancy is very challenging and horribly painful for many women. ∼ LE

– Please stop asking/telling me that we’re “done” having kids. Seriously, our reproductive systems are not your business. ∼ JV

– Don’t make twins or multiples out to be a bad thing, children are blessings, yes they’re hard times but don’t ever feel bad for me cause I have twins. ∼ JD

– That they don’t always need to be compared to each other. They’re two different people and it’s perfectly okay if they look different, have different personalities, and meet milestones at different times. ∼ JF

– The statement “I wish I had twins”. Really. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine. You go through the difficult growth moments TIMES TWO. ∼ NM

– It’s just keeps getting better. Those first 6 months when they are completely helpless and literally rely on your to do everything is the most exhausting time in your life. But one day they sit up, see each other, and start playing. It’s the most fun you will ever have in your life.  ∼ AF

– I’m surprised by how many people are amazed that they are different people. I always hear how my boys are “so different even though they are twins”. ∼ GW

What is something you wish people knew about having twins

– All the good outweighs the bad. God made me for this and I LOVE IT! I wish people knew how amazing it is to have two babies. It is the most wonderful thing. I can’t even explain it. Although it is SO HARD, it’s so worth it. ∼ EG

– When people say, “I don’t know how you do it!” I mean, what choice do I have? ∼ BCC

– I don’t want our family to be looked at like we’re a circus side show. We are a family. I know some think it’s a novelty to have twins, but we don’t need to be stared at all the time. ∼ SM

– How amazing it is. People tend to think of the negatives, but oh my gosh I wouldn’t have it any other way. ∼ KVH

– Unless you have had twins you DO NOT know what its like! So yes sympathize but do not attempt empathy because you will be met with an eye roll, if not a few words. ∼ CL

What is something you wish people knew about having twins

– It’s the most amazing gift you can be given. Yes, it’s hard work at times but don’t feel sorry for me because my hands are full. I consider myself extremely blessed. ∼ HM

– One is not always bad and one good one. (Really they take turns with this) ∼ JL

– How hard it is to find babysitters when they are little babies. People are so intimidated by taking care of 2 babies. They want an assistant helper. ∼ DKK

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