How to Deal With Twins Crying At The Same Time?

Last updated on August 12th, 2025 at 12:01 am

One of the biggest challenges twin parents share is figuring out how to handle baby twins crying at the same time. So we’ve rounded up some insights from other twin parents who’ve been there!

No matter how old your twins are—from newborns through toddlerhood and beyond—learning how to cope with double the big feelings can be overwhelming. Especially if you are by yourself with the twins. After all, there’s one of you and two of them. 

But when they are so little, how do you decide which to console first? Is there even a way to successfully soothe infant or newborn twins simultaneously? Better yet, how do you manage to not lose your own cool in the process of all the over-stimulation? 

We reached out to our amazing community to hear what strategies work for them when it comes to the magical art of dealing with both twins crying! Keep reading for the very real inside scoop from twin parents who’ve been there.

Stressing out with your infant twins? Let us help! Learn what to expect in the first year with twins, including tips, tricks, and advice from real twin parents who have been there. Click here to learn more… and while you’re at it, check out our twin parent coaching services and Twiniversity shop!

We had twin parents recently ask:

How do other people deal with their twins crying at the same time? I keep my 12 month old twins on the same schedule but that means they get tired, hungry, or need a diaper at the same time. (I try to stay ahead of schedule as much as I can but I can’t always). Usually I’ll attend to whoever is most upset first. Often my attempts to soothe and talk to the unattended baby just makes them more upset. As a sensitive mom, it hurts my heart to hear them cry while waiting! What am I doing wrong?

And…

How does everyone deal when both babies are melting down? We have one fussy twin who has been at times inconsolable and then that seems to trigger the other twin. It’s very stressful and difficult not to be able to help them both. What strategies do you use? (Our twins are 3 months old.)

Here’s what other twin parents had to say…

Strategies that actually help for twins crying simultaneously:

“Go to the one who’s less upset first. I remember reading a tip once that said “start with the low-hanging fruit.” That way you can settle the less upset one more quickly & then get to the other. Also, I found singing helped when I couldn’t physically soothe both. They both can hear you sing, & it might help you release some stress. Hang in there! You are doing great!“

“You’re doing nothing wrong!! I call it the song of my people. I think we just get more crying because they are on the same schedule, yet someone always is first and someone is always last. My suggestion would to try to become more comfortable with the crying, only to decrease the stress it causes you. It’s just them expressing themselves. If you know they aren’t hurt and are safe, it’s just their way of communicating. I think it gets better as comprehension and language grow. Hang in there!!”

“Mine are almost 6 months now and I found if I just take diapers off they calm down. I then give them diaper free time for a few minutes and then start dressing the one that was less fussy. Calms them almost every time, unless they are hungry.”

“Get outside if you can. Or food, I know they’re young; You’re in the thick of it. You’ve got this.”

“Honestly we separated them into different rooms when this occurred, as they continued to feed off each other. My girls are almost 3 and this method still works, it’s harder as they want each other but after a few minutes they both tend to calm down but it is a challenge still.”

“What I did was I settled the one who was easier to settle first. If I knew it was a quick fix…food, diaper change then I dealt with the one who was harder to console.”

More helpful strategies for when both twins are crying:

“Behavior specialist and twin mama here – depends what stage you’re in, but as babies, if they’re already fed and burped and changed and slept – strapping them both to me, rocking both, putting them in the stroller and going for a little walk, or splashing in a little bit of water all helped me!”

“I got a carrier for twins and a yoga ball for bouncing them… and patience, a lot of patience! Also mine are breastfed so I would put the boob in and marvelous things happened.”

“Ear plugs, deep breaths, help one at a time (or grab another adult). It’s stressful as the parent/caretaker but the babies will survive a few mins crying.”

“If they’re fed, clean and safe, lock yourself in the bathroom with a glass of wine and enjoy! By the time you finish the wine, you will have solved the problem! I’m serious! Sometimes there’s literally nothing you can do, and eventually they will fall asleep. Crying is what infants do. I recall thinking mine cried 90% of the day, until they finally outgrew it. The only bummer at that point… I had no wine left!”

“Mine are 9 months and I come across this issue too. I feed them at the same time in chairs to help avoid that, I always change them off a schedule so they don’t always depend on it at a certain time to make it easier and as for bedtime they both go into their crib at the same time awake to go to sleep. One of the many struggles with twins and not having enough hands.”

Quick hacks for dealing with crying twins:

“Once they didn’t need head support anymore, picking them both up and bouncing them for a few minutes helped me a lot.”

“Take them outside!”

“Get outside. We have done this even at 2am when they were really little.”

“Feed them! Pick one and feed them. Also, put them in the stroller and go outside.”

“I got used to it and stopped stressing that I can’t comfort both…and take deep breaths.”

“My twins get distracted if I do a little dance and sing to them.”

“Sit down and start playing to distract them.”

“Distraction.”

“Prioritize your own regulation first!”

Learn more: Co-Regulation Techniques to Try With Twins of All Ages

“Singing songs usually catches their attention, but they are 6 months.”

“Breathing, trying to hold them and hug them and reassure them. TRYING to talk or reason.”

“Sunshine and snacks.”

“Loop earplugs and deal with one at a time. Singing. Pram walk!”

“Reading helps.”

“Singing.”

“If I’m completely alone, I put them both in the bouncing chair and alternate cuddles.”

“Dance party and hugs!”

“Let them cry.”

“Twin carriers and walks!”

“Put on Ms. Rachel to distract one.”

“Hold both if you can.”

“Deal with one baby at a time.”

“One on each knee reading a book. Also not above just giving snacks. My girls are 14 months.”

“I sit down on the floor with them until they settle down and talk about it. Works sometimes!”

“Be patient and give yourself grace! They’re going to be okay and so are you.”

“Put them in the WonderFold and go for a walk!”

“Tandem breastfeeding. Shoving a boob always helps lol.”

Tried and true twin parent hacks for when both twins are crying:

“I change/help one first and reassure/talk to the other that mommy is coming soon. just a minute. Crying is not hurting them. As long as they are in a safe place (crib/bouncy chair etc.) they will learn that you will get to them when it’s their turn. My boys are two now and they both patiently wait and watch me put food on each others high chair trays, for example. I always make sure to mix up who goes first. But whenever possible I try to keep everything the same. Like when I give them both sippy cups of milk, I fill them and cover them first so I can hand them off simultaneously. That way no one goes first.”

“Sometimes the only thing you can do is put them together so they can soothe the other. Definitely embrace the twin bond; it’s very strong. I would try to hold them or turn on some music. On nice days I would go outside for fresh air. My two are 12 years old now. I promise, you will get through this and be ready for the next stage. Relax and enjoy them.”

“I always tended to the more upset one first, but couldn’t handle the crying of both. I learned to feed/burp/carry them both at the same time. You can never hold, snuggle, or comfort your babies too much.”

I’ve been there too…

“Keep doing what you’re doing. Mom guilt doesn’t seem to go away. My girls are 17 months and it still occurs several times a day! I just cuddle with them as much as possible when changing their diapers. I have activities set up at their high chairs while they wait for food. Doesn’t always work and of course they tantrum and cry at the same time, but we can only do our best!! I find that if I take a mental timeout (count to 20) usually works and calms me down when they’re both screaming.”

“You aren’t doing anything wrong. Remember that crying is how your twins communicate with you. It will be okay. It’s bound to happen when you have two or more. It’s okay to focus on one at a time. Don’t worry about things you can’t control. Just breathe and keep going. It will get better, probably pretty soon too.“

“You’re doing everything you can. They’ll have to learn to self soothe/self entertain and eventually they’ll get the idea that you’re not abandoning them or ignoring them.”

“Best advice I got while pregnant from another twin mom, you have to learn to let them cry. You can’t be 2 places at once and you aren’t 2 people. It’s so hard though. Some nights I just cry with them.”

“You are not doing anything wrong. With 2 babies you are going to have both crying at some point. While it hurts your heart, it is not hurting them. You are doing the best you can but you only have 2 hands so you need to give yourself a break!”

You’re not alone…

“That was so hard for me too. At times I just cried with them. I remember our pediatrician saying that crying doesn’t hurt them, they are just expending energy.”

“Nothing at all! Mine always cried while the other one was being fed, changed, etc. Now they have learned that you take turns in life and sometimes have to wait.”

“You will get used to letting them learn that mommy has only two hands. Show them you are calm and that everything is under control. You will be able to distract them with toys in a few months. Hold tight, you are doing great mommy.”

“You’re not doing anything wrong! Please don’t blame yourself. I used to call it lung exercises. It’s the way they communicate right now. Trust me, these cries will be replaced with words and you won’t have to guess as much.”

It’s par-for-the-course…

“My twins are 11.5 months old and I UNDERSTAND! Trust me, you aren’t doing anything wrong. There are TWO of them and ONE of you! I get the same guilt, but in my heart I know my babies are safe and loved, and that neither truly cries for long. I have to keep reminding myself I am SO blessed to be the one at home with them, that they could be in someone else’s care while I go off to work. Hearing the sweet babies cry is never easy, but just keep talking to them and loving on them. They know their Mama loves them!! Keep up the awesome work!”

“Twins have to learn to share and wait no matter what the activity. There’s only one you and it’s a fact of life for them now and always. It’s a learning curve for everyone. Mine are almost 3 and are pretty good about this nowadays.”

“You are doing nothing wrong, I think as a mom of multiple we will always feel that guilt of both of them crying at the same time.”

“I honestly start crying too.”

“Honestly, mine are 2 now and everyone’s melting down!”

“Shout for f**k sake under my breath in the kitchen so they can’t hear me, then deal with the carnage.”

“Scream.”

“Sit on the floor and take both in my lap. Cry with them.”

“Disassociating?! LOL.”

Final thoughts on soothing crying twins at the same time

Want the long story short? Here’s a recap of the advice above summed up for you!

• It’s completely normal developmentally for both twins to be crying like this, so take it easy on yourself. You’re not alone!
• Focus on learning self-regulation and co-regulation techniques so you can feel calmer as the adult.
• Try noise-reducing earplugs to reduce the stimulation for you.
• Try a change of scenery like going outside.
• Get your twinnies moving like a stroller walk or holding them in your arms and moving around (with a twin baby carrier if needed).
• Sing and dance or use another distraction method.
• Do a diaper change, feed them, or give them a break from their diaper for a few minutes.

Want more tips for managing tears and tantrums with twins?

• Co-Regulation Techniques for Twins of All Ages
• 5 Tips to Calm Infant Twins
• Spending One-On-One Time With Twins

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