The minute that ultrasound shows you it’s twins, your life’s focus becomes all about being efficient with your time. You tend to live and die by the schedule, and bath time is a great opportunity to basically do two things at once. Bathing both kids at the same time just makes sense! But at what age do you stop bathing boy and girl twins together?
When you have twins, or even young children close in age, bath time is a great time-honored tradition. I know my mom has numerous Polaroids of my brother, sister, and me in the bath together. Being the youngest child of three, I don’t actually remember the family baths, so I don’t know at what age my parents decided it was no longer appropriate for us to bathe together. Maybe bathing three children at the same time became too hard — the constant water fights, tantrums, and not to mention the lack of space!
It seems to be a common concern among parents of boy / girl twin. Bathing boy / girl twins together (or not doing so) is a hot topic and many people have thoughts. Overall, it’s a very personal choice dependent on your family and your own twins.
Of course, we wanted to do our own research, so we asked our twin parent community what they did with their own twins. Here are some of their best answers about bathing boy / girl twins together and when to separate them.
Some stop bathing boy / girl twins together for space
Logistically speaking, it seems many twin parents separate their twins because the bathtub literally cannot hold both of them at once. As with many twin parent concerns, the world being set up for singletons might dictate this decision, too.
“My g/b 4 year old twins still bathe together.. Thinking I may stop soon just ’cause they’re running out of room and kind of are starting to fight more and more in the tub. We’ve also been testing our showers a little too, so hoping they want to just shower soon instead of a tub.” – Vanessa.
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“Mine are now 5 (b/g twins) and we stopped recently because they no longer fit in the tub together. We also just started teaching them to bathe/shower themselves and wash hair on their own. Not perfect but they’ll get the hang of it to handle on their own.” – Jean
“You’ll know. Mine are 13 now. It just naturally happened. I think we stopped when mine didn’t fit in the tub together comfortably. Lol!” – Melissa
“Mine are 5 and still bathe together. I’d only stop soon because they’re getting too big to share the tub. I’m considering throwing one in each tub and still bathe simultaneously.” – Jessica
“Our boy / girl twins turned 5 this summer and they stopped bathing together earlier this year. They requested separate baths mostly because they want more room in the tub to play.” – Christy
Respect their request for privacy
Above all other reasons, this might be the very best reason to stop bathing boy / girl twins together. Respecting their request for privacy at a young age gives them a sense of control over their own body and teaches them to speak up about their comfort. It seems to be common for children to request this privacy from their parents and even their twin in the preschool years. But even if they ask earlier, parents should take the request seriously, in my humble opinion.
“My b/g twins are 4 and still bathe together. They know they have different private parts, but don’t really care. I’ll start bathing them separately when they start to request more privacy. My husband and I also shower with them occasionally and so far it has not been an issue.” – Mariah
“I bathed my boy / girl twins together until kindergarten (so, 5 years old). We’ve always been clear on body parts, privacy, and choice. One day after school, I said my usual, ‘ok, bath time’ and my son asked if he could go first (which he’d never done before). I acted as if it was normal, said, ‘sure’ and asked him if he wanted help running the bath or if he wanted to do it himself. He opted to do it himself and they’ve been pretty much on their own ever since.” Traci
“The bathtub started getting cramped and they started noticing their body differences and fighting more pretty much when they turned 5. They started to want more privacy when changing or in the bathroom so we separated baths without making it weird. Just that this is how it is now. They did fine with it. Luckily we have 2 tubs so they still bathe at the same time.” – Angela
“I also have b/g twins who will be 10 this month. They bathed and showered together until they were probably 7 or 8. It was their choice to start bathing separately.” – Chelsie
“Mine were 5 and both asked to bathe separately at that time.” – Corie
“My girl asked to start bathing alone at 4 so that’s when we stopped.” – Sarah-Louise
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Bath time can be too stressful together
Bath time can bring out all kinds of rowdy behavior, which can lead to fighting. As twin parents, we often deal with a fair amount of fighting already. Bathing boy / girl twins together is no exception. Some parents also choose to bathe their children separately to give them a break from one another and use the one-on-one time to bond with each twin.
“We stopped at 3 or 4, not because of anything ‘inappropriate’ but because there wasn’t enough room and my girl did not appreciate how much splashing her brother did.” – Jen
“My twin boys stopped bathing together at about 2 for no other reason than they loved bathing so much it would flood the bathroom. I would be drenched by the end of it. Only occasionally do they have a bath together in a rush. They do tend to shower together because they can close the doors and splash together then.” – Sam
“Our B/G Twins are 2 and we have only bathed together a handful of times, it seems easier for my husband and me to conquer and divide. He bathes one and takes them to get lotion and dressed and I start bathing the next.” – Lacey
“My b/g twins stopped at 4. They were getting too big to fit comfortably and started fighting. It’s actually nice now to have them separated for 20 minutes.” – Kelly
“Current 4 yo b/g twins mom here. We had to separate them for baths ’cause they were fighting over everything in the tub, then soaked everything in the bathroom.” – Chelsea
Curiosity might kill the bathtime fun
With boy / girl twins, the curiosity factor may play a big role in your desire to separate your twins at bath time.
“We started bathing them separately when they started noticing and exploring their differences at about 4 and a half. They are now almost 5 and are learning to shower themselves.” – Laurel
“We started separate bath time when they had a significant interest in the difference between each other’s private parts and sitting on or trying to straddle the other while in the bath. Then we explained the differences at an age-appropriate level. We also didn’t want them going to school and accidentally telling friends they bathed with their opposite-sex sibling. Kids can be cruel. So this happened between 4 and 5. We gradually started giving them ‘special time’ alone in the bath while still allowing for the occasional together bath if they asked.” – Nicole
“I have 5 yr old b/g twins and we separated at around 3 and a half. They have always noticed their differences, but when they started to show interest in those differences is when we drew the line. It was hard at first, but then it became routine. And now they can (mostly) take showers by themselves.” – Karen
“I stopped bathing mine together when they were about 3, when my daughter kept asking what was between her brothers’ legs. So I explained and then when he was playing with it, she wanted to. That’s when I was like, oh nope!” – Tamika
Other signs to stop bathing boy / girl twins together
There are lots of opinions from experts, pediatricians, and the know-it-all PTA mom about bathing boys and girls together. But, ultimately, when it comes time to no longer bathe your boy / girl twins together, it really is up to you to decide. Here are some social and developmental cues you can look for to help know when single baths are needed.
Signs your boy / girl twins are done bathing together:
- Signs of modesty
- Requests of privacy
- Interrogating questions about each others’ bodies
My twins are 5 years old and we have just made the transition from bathing the twins together to single showers. I honestly have no concrete reason why we made our decision. My twins couldn’t care less about each other’s body parts. And they still run through the house naked, wiggling and spanking their own butts while laughing! So obviously 5 years old is not too old for bathing together.
Do what’s best for you and your family
If your children are interrogating you about their sibling’s body parts, be sure to handle the situation “matter-of-factly.” You don’t want your children left feeling ashamed about their bodies or their natural curiosity.
If bathing your children together is a must for you right now, don’t stress over it! Most children will transition out of bathing together naturally, without their parents prompting them to. Moral of the story: do what is comfortable for you and for your twins!