10 Reasons Parents of Multiples Experience Anxiety
You have multiples. Need I say any more? Ever wondered why you feel more than a little anxious? Here are just a few reasons.
1. You are a moving circus.
Everywhere you go, people want to stop and look at your twins. Heck, some people feel the need to put their hands all over your kids without asking permission. By the way, it’s okay to tell them to keep their distance. You can always tell them at least one of the kids is getting over the stomach bug; that tends to make people put up a fence.
2. You are chasing at least two kids at the same time.
No matter what stage your multiples are in, they continue to always go through things at the same time. I said “at least” because if you have older kids plus your multiples, then you’ve got the huge responsibility of keeping track of which color sippy cup you gave to each child, as well as giving attention to your singleton. experience anxiety
3. Your twins are always sick.
Especially during the first two years of their lives, it seems as though one always has a fever and the other has yet another ear infection. My wife and I missed over thirty days of work between the two of us during the first year of the girls’ lives, That even included help from family members who could watch the girls at other times. An emergency fund may help offset the surprise co-pays you will inevitably have to pay.
4. You want to go someplace?
Right. Venturing out becomes very difficult, especially when you have family members who don’t understand the concept of babyproofing a house. Long drives can take much longer when you factor in the many stops you will make and eating out…it’s just not fun.
But if you insist on trying to embark on the adventure, consider eating at restaurants that offer many options like buffet-style so kids don’t have to wait, and you can eat fairly quickly to get back on the road. Also, research rest stops along the way that may actually have something for kids to do. You never know; you may actually have fun at a rest stop. experience anxiety
5. You don’t want to compare them, but… it’s hard not to.
After all, they were born to the same parents at the same time and grew up under the same guidelines and policies. They watched the same things on TV and were given the same food to eat. However, you found that they like totally different things, started hitting milestones at different times, and even have different accents (seriously, how does one have a southern accent and the other sounds as Midwestern as Dorothy?) Just remember that your twins need individual attention, because they are individuals, and they will develop their own personalities throughout their lives.
6. You can’t find time with your significant other.
In the hustle and bustle of raising twins, your partner often times gets overlooked. The first thing to remember is that it’s natural when you become a parent to focus most of your energy on your babies. But, it’s important to take opportunities to be alone so that you can keep that most important relationship going. You have to have moments to remember why you ended up with twins in the first place. experience anxiety
7. You don’t trust anyone else with them.
Unfortunately, this is natural, too, but it causes a lot of stress because you start convincing yourself that other people didn’t have to take care of more than one child at a time. But, if they volunteer and you trust them, they can probably do it. If you are unsure, take an opportunity and let your twins play with the applicant for brief periods of time before handing over the keys.
I would also recommend that the person watching your twins come to your place so the twins are in a familiar setting, especially if bedtime is near.
8. You don’t have friends anymore.
Sure you do: They are on Facebook posting pictures of their crazy vacation to Madrid. The truth is while your social life may suffer at the beginning of twindom, you can also take the opportunity to connect with other parents who are going through the same things. experience anxiety
You may find that the friends you currently have are not able to adjust to you having children, and perhaps new friends that understand your plight can be beneficial. I’m not suggesting that you have to get rid of your friends, but true friends stick together through life’s changing circumstances.
9. Your Gucci is now from Carter’s.
You may find that twins cost a lot of money and that your expenses will be much tighter. The pressure is definitely there to buy them the best of everything. And if your extended family wants to do that, let them.
Keep in mind that the things they wear they will shortly outgrow, and newborn twins will go through about 16 diapers a day. When you take those things into consideration, you will buy yourself less and spend more money on your children.
10. You constantly second guess.
Been there, done that. I may have a t-shirt somewhere. But, there are a lot of great resources for parents of multiples that include support groups, educational materials, and even websites like this one. You are dealing with unique situations that few parents have to encounter, and let’s face it; you’re special because you have twins. If you can navigate these things, you can alleviate a lot of stress from your life as a parent with twins. Good luck! experience anxiety
Mike Crider is a school administrator and a father of twin girls. He’s published an e-book though Amazon called Twin Dad Talks: Help for First Time Fathers Navigating Pregnancy.
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