My twins are still only 4 years old, but this is about the age where there’s a divide in the twin parent community…
To separate your twins or to keep them together throughout their academic careers?
There are sound arguments and reasons for both sides. But which is right for your twinnies?
See below for a treasure trove of articles written by twin parents on the topic of separating twins at school research and firsthand stories of what worked and didn’t!
And keep reading to the end for one twin mama’s dilemma and ultimate decision as her twin boys near kindergarten.
Resource 1: Should I Separate My Twins in School? What the Research Suggests…
Inside this article, a twin mama summarizes the key findings of 5 major works that delve into the research behind separating twins in school.
Resource 2: Separating Twins in School: When Other Twin Parents Did it and Why
Inside this article, twin parents from around the world share when they decided to separate their twins (or not) in school for one reason or another!
Resource 3: Pros and Cons of Separating Your Twins in School
One twin mama shares an intimate look at the pros and cons of separating by sharing her firsthand experience with her own twin girls. She shares perspectives from both a parent perspective and child perspective!
Resource 4: How to Prepare Your Twins for Separate Classrooms
Inside this article, a twin parent shares concrete and actionable ways that you can get your twins ready to part ways in separate classrooms at school.
Resource 5: When One Twin is Ready to Be In A Separate Class Before the Other
In this article, a twin mama shares her personal story of having one twin who wanted to stay together in class and one who didn’t.
Resource 6: Managing Twins in Separate Classrooms
Inside this article, a twin parent sheds light on some of the challenges that can come up when you have your twins in different classes at school as well as how those hurdles can be navigated.
Bonus Resource: 10 Things Teachers Need to Know About the Twins in Their Classes
In this article, a twin mom shares what she wishes teachers would know about having twins in class together!
One twin mama’s take on separating twins at school…
Let’s take a few steps back for context on why I’m ruminating on this topic.
My twins have been in the same daycare class since infancy. They’re now on the cusp of entering kindergarten, and I’ve heard from different twin parents on what they’ve done with their twins growing up into their school years.
Interestingly enough, the daycare owner where I send my twins happens to be a twin mom herself, and her professional advice was to separate them. She placed her kids in different classes when they turned 4.
I have read that placing twins in separate classrooms is beneficial because their peers will see them as individuals, not as a pair. It’s also been said to reduce twin vs. twin competition (National Institutes of Health).
Our thought process…
That last statement struck me because between the two, one of my twins is quieter than the other, and he’s sometimes overlooked as “behind” since he’s not as vocal. Except when he was two, one of his teachers recognized this and would sit with him separately and spend more 1:1 time with him. She also noticed his brother would always answer for the both of them which was another reason why she sat with my quiet twin.
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Now though, my more social twin loves to have his brother by his side. He’s going to be devastated if and when they do separate! He will adjust eventually I’m sure, but what does that timeline look like?
Is it having awful drop offs for a week? A month? And will that cause separation anxiety?
The two sides…
I searched for an article that would talk more about placing twins in the same classroom and many said vague statements like “not much of a difference.” So I posted this question onto good-ol’ social media, and a couple of the responses said they kept their twins in the same class.
One mom said her twins have been in the same class since pre-K and they’re high achievers in 3rd grade now. That gave me some perspective. Other blog sites said that having twins in the same class helps parents because the academic content is the same.
My twins had a short stint of being separated…
During one transition, my twins were separated in childcare for about a month and a half; it was an enlightening experiment. They really surprised us.
The drop-off was hard, which was expected. Once they finished breakfast at daycare, the teachers said they would then split the twins up. The quiet twin went to the older class. He participated more and was engaged in a lot of the content.
They are back together again though now at age 4. The class we’re in is a bilingual class, and there’s only one class. The two became their normal self again. One was super quiet and then the other was Mr. Popular. Although, lately we’ve been getting news that our shy guy would pick up the new content much faster than the rest of the class.
The thought crossed my mind to test him for early kindergarten admission since they have an on-the-cusp birthday. But I got a unanimous NO with that idea from both the singleton moms and the twins moms I know.
Not because it’s separating them, but because emotionally the one twin might not be ready even if academically he is. If we went that route, he’d also be the youngest for the milestones in life, like he’ll have all his friends driving at 16 and he’ll still have a whole year ahead of him.
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What we’ve decided…
After hearing all the feedback and reading all the content, the plan is to place them in separate classes when they’re in kindergarten. The idea is to allow them to make their own friends and build up their own identity. And if one child excels in school or sports, there won’t be as much competitiveness or resentment (hopefully).
Sure, they will always be compared to an extent because what sibling isn’t compared? But at least people will identify them as individuals (that is the hope).
Of course, all twin families have unique situations when it comes to separating twins at school. Hopefully, the additional articles and resources linked on this page will help you make the best decision for you and your twinnies!
This twin mom personal account was graciously written and shared with Twiniversity by…
Stephanie Miller is the proud mom of twin cyclones Zach and Carter. Every day in the Miller house, you’ll find rooms turned over, floors covered in bits of Lego and puzzle pieces (mind your step), and the sound of “Brown Bear Brown Bear” read over and over, and over again. You’ll typically find her being used as the seat to reading time for the two bookworms, covered in bubble solution as they try to excel in their Bubble Wand skills, or being the voice to command Alexa for their favorite tunes. She and her husband are working on their traveling skills cause she can’t wait to show them the amazing world that is out there for them.
Want to read about more topics related to separating twins? Check out these articles too!
- Separate Rooms or Not? That is The Question…
- Transitioning to Individual Bedrooms for Twins
- Managing Twins in Separate Classrooms
- Separation and the Twin Bond
